Third Session Video Part Two

Robbie Francis from Go Swan Filmworks returned to camp for another day filming this week, and with more of his brilliant editing, produced this fun 2-minute video for us.

Take a look and you’ll see what I mean— these girls love camp.

Enjoy!

Meaningful Action

Small child kayaking camp
outdoor yoga camp girls

It’s a comment we hear a lot around here… from perceptive visitors taking a tour while camp is in session, from counselors marveling at simple moments of their day, and certainly from campers as they reflect on how camp feels to them. “Everyone seems so happy,” or “These are some happy girls,” or “Rockbrook makes me happy!” I think I’ve seen it on a t-shirt too; “Camp is my Happy Place.” And it really is true. There’s something special about life at camp that makes everyone here remarkably happy, especially when compared with the outside world. If you have been scanning our daily photo galleries then you have a sense of it. Camp life for kids has a general feeling of well-being, joyful engagement, and belonging.

But here’s the thing— this feeling isn’t dependent on the activities we’re enjoying. It’s not like we’re happy only when kayaking, weaving, riding a horse, hiking through the woods, or playing tetherball. Sure, we are happy when we are doing exciting things like riding through the trees on a zipline, and we are happy when we savor the day’s surprise muffin flavor, but the happiness of camp extends to other times that might, from a different perspective, be described as “work,” or even as “boring.” Camp girls are happy at times “just hanging out,” sweeping their cabin, taking their turn wiping their dining hall table, or simply walking down the line after hearing the bell for lunch.

In other words, the happiness we experience at camp is not the same as the fun. …or even pleasure or satisfaction. Obviously, camp is great fun, regularly punctuated by pleasure, and satisfying in lots of ways. These are the moments we write home about— getting a bullseye in archery, throwing a pot on the wheel, going back for thirds of Rick’s homemade guacamole and chicken flautas. Everyday there are activities and special events designed to be fun and carefully planned to be satisfying and enjoyable (a trip to sliding rock, a drumming workshop, a wet and wild creek hike, or simply singing together during morning assembly, for example). These moments are entertaining and great, and they certainly contribute to the happiness of camp, but they do not alone make camp a happy place. There must be something more going on. If not the fun, what is it about camp life that encourages such happiness?

Girl Shooter with Target
Silly Rafting Camp Girls

An idea from Aristotle might be helpful, namely that happiness stems from “meaningful action.” The notion is that happiness is not a momentary, fleeting fulfillment of desires (like escape from boredom, for example), but is instead a way of being where one’s actions are meaningful.  What makes our actions “meaningful” becomes the question, but perhaps the secret to camp happiness it that it somehow lends meaning to our actions. What we do at camp means something to us as individuals.

OK, but when camp girls make a friendship bracelet, shoot riflery, or go whitewater rafting, how does it mean something to them? What’s special about camp that makes ordinary actions more “meaningful?” I’m not sure, but as one counselor who I was discussing this with put it, “It’s all about community.” She said what we do at camp means something because we do so much together, and we care for each other.

I love that idea because it suggests the importance of relationships, of beginning with kindness toward each other and fostering an environment where everyone is trusted, respected and loved. Do that, and we create a special place where we’re happy. In this way, I imagine all of our community values— care, cooperation, compassion, generosity —likewise contribute to our happiness by making whatever we’re doing more meaningful. So, being helpful in the dining hall, for example, is meaningful and makes us happy because it deepens our relationship with the other girls in our cabin. Sensing real encouragement and support from the people around you makes whatever you’re doing more meaningful.

There are probably other answers to this question about how camp life includes inherently meaningful action, and how it fosters such happiness, but I think our sense of community here is a powerful force linking the two. If so, we might use the idea prescriptively in the outside world and suggest that instead of adding more toys or more “fun” experiences, we can become happier by joining and supporting a camp-like community where our actions are meaningful.  It’s one of the lessons of camp: build positive relationships with the people around you, make your actions meaningful through those relationships, and you’re bound to be happier. Now that’s something to take home!

Camp Rafting Girls

Settled Down and Fired Up

Camp Girls on Porch

Today we saw proof just how quickly the girls have both settled down and fired up here at camp. In just a couple of days, most of ambivalence about camp— remember, it’s very different from home —the uncertainties about what each day will be like, the activities, and the other girls in their cabin have for the most part faded and been replaced with understanding, friendship and enthusiasm. The girls now understand the rhythm of camp life: the 120-year camp camp bell and what it signifies, the crucial importance of “Muffin Break” (today’s flavor was mint chocolate chip, by the way), when is the best time to take a shower, that around here singing (loudly!) is highly encouraged, and lying down in your bunk after these incredibly active days feels really good. Now everyone has a buddy or two to romp around with, as well as their whole cabin group to play with at meals, rest hour, and in the cabin before bedtime. It’s also particularly striking how enthusiastic the girls are now for everything happening at camp. Cheers went up when the Nantahala River rafting trips were announced. Everyday, the optional trips are filled:  hiking to Black Balsam (one of the highest peaks east of the Mississippi), rock climbing on Castle Rock, and canoeing down the French Broad River, for example. The girls are embracing every aspect of camp finding it both comfortable and thrilling… a little like relaxing in a red rocking chair chatting with friends and whooping with delight while flying through the trees on the zipline. It’s amazing how these Rockbrook girls are having this much fun so quickly and thoroughly.

I’ve been thinking about this, about why girls adapt so well to life at Rockbrook, and I think one important factor is the all-girl environment here… but in a very particular way. The most common thing you’ll hear about the benefits of an all-girl camp or school is that boys are a “distraction” and that removing them allows girls to be less preoccupied with their appearance and how they compare to boys’ abilities. That seems true, but I doubt it’s that simple. An all-girl community also has to embody other, more important principles or the same competition, self-evaluation, and social hierarchies common to mixed gendered groups will color everyone’s interactions and relationships. So, I would say there’s nothing automatically wonderful about an all-girl setting. There has to be something more fundamental also, something that when established and deeply rooted first and then expressed in an all-girl community, we can identify as the secret to camp life at Rockbrook being so easily and eagerly taken to heart.

rafting-high-five

Perhaps surprisingly, I don’t think it’s the range of activities offered, the mountain environment, the delicious food served, or the top-notch staff members at camp. These too are simply the context for what really makes our camp community work. No, I think the core value defining camp life at Rockbrook is care. It sounds simple, but starting with the relationships we have with each other, striving to reorient them in the spirit of compassion and generosity, is the key. Beginning with our staff members, who were selected because they are genuinely kind, caring people, but also modeled by the directors and specialty activity instructors, everyone at camp is supportive, encouraging and kind toward each other. Whether playing tennis, collaborating on the plan for an evening program skit, or taking turns sweeping the cabin each morning, the people at Rockbrook truly care for each other. It’s this core community value, this practiced ethic applied to our relationships with each other, that gives camp life its special energy.

Being an all-girl environment is important but only as it serves the primary goal of making everyone at camp feel included, equally loved and respected. Perhaps it’s easier for girls to be kind and caring toward each other than it might be toward boys, and that can explain why a girls camp community like Rockbrook enjoys this happy vibe. It’s just a hunch, but I think there’s something to it.

Camp Kayaks

Deeply Encouraging

Girl Horseback Riding
Girl Horse Riding

As our first week of camp hit its stride today, the campers seem to have simultaneously relaxed and energized. It makes sense when you think about it. After these first few days, any initial jitters have been calmed by the friendly atmosphere here, the smiling counselors who are always ready to encourage, the overall feeling of openness and acceptance that colors everything. At Rockbrook, there’s simply no pressure to measure up; we don’t compete for awards or recognition for being the best at something. Instead— and this can take a few days for girls to realize —the camp environment, Rockbrook’s culture, substitutes caring for criticism. It finds friendship before judgment, silliness and laughter before concern.

Within the structure of scheduled activities and periods of free time, the girls here have the freedom to try new activities (climbing, shooting, weaving!), to follow their whim meeting and playing with scores of wonderful inspiring people, and to explore what they enjoy, expand what they know, and develop who they are. It’s a strange but wonderful feeling of deep happiness and well being that springs simply from being in this kind of genuine girls camp community.

Camp Zip Line Thrill

Out of this relaxation bubbles energy and excitement. It’s inevitable; with this freedom comes all sorts of activity, from thrilling outdoor adventure activities like screaming down the Rockbrook camp zip line course, to the concentration and creativity that combine to tie friendship bracelet patterns. Letting go at camp inspires you to overcome challenges, to join a big group playing gaga ball, for example. It stiffens your nerve at the top of the 50-foot tall water slide. It elevates your voice to sing louder in the dining hall. Suddenly, wearing a crazy costume, or making up a dance with your cabin mates, or lying on the grass in the dark to stargaze, or getting really dirty in the creek— all seem perfectly normal. Relaxing into camp life, fully embracing the contagious kindness of our camp community, is deeply encouraging.

Ceramics Camp Girl

Of course, this all adds up to what the girls simply call “fun.” It’s fun to have friends like this, to be with them all day and night, to get to know each other this genuinely. It’s fun to feel supported by everyone around you, and thereby find the confidence to step far beyond what you thought was your limit. It’s fun to make things, to be this active all day, and laugh this much. It’s fun to exercise your personality so thoroughly, to empower your creativity, your compassion, your awareness of the world around you. It’s fun to have a break from “real life,” from (yes, believe it or not) the distractions of technology, and thereby discover so much to experience and appreciate. The girls will say it was fun to roast s’mores over the campfire, to ride horses, and to swim in the lake, but I think there’s something more fundamental and lasting at work.

Today, after just a few days, it was so entirely clear. For your girls, camp provides the freedom they crave, the challenges they need, and the full-bellied fun they love.

Camp Party Costumes

Face to Face Living

pottery camper at summer camp

The other day I was talking with a young counselor about camp and whether there was anything about the experience this summer that has surprised her. She had attended camp for 7 years as a camper already, so I was curious if she recognized anything different now that she’s older. She quickly said that she was having a blast with the campers in her cabin, and that she loves being a counselor because she gets to know the girls so well and do so much with them. She was surprised how “intense,” “emotional,” and “fun” camp is.

Put a little differently, life at camp is face to face living. We’re all in this together, sharing everything (costumes, food, pink eye —well, we try not to share that last one!). When we’re at camp we pay attention to each other constantly. We are very close, feel truly connected, to a lot of people. Being at Rockbrook means accepting the intimacy, thrills and challenges of community… but in exchange, building countless heart-felt relationships, deepening our humanity, and yes, having  a lot of “fun.”

By making this observation, I think this young woman, without knowing it, was also commenting on ordinary life outside of camp. Essentially, it lacks the closeness, the rich, personal experience that defines our days at girls camp Rockbrook. Ordinary American life, generally speaking, is more about individual consumption, privacy, personal advancement, and ego-centric entertainment— all while being mostly blind to the other people around us. As we speed along the course of our lives, tightly tethered to our smartphones, community is too often left in the dust. Feeling dis-connected, bored and alone, can easily be the sad remainder.

Painting Girl at summer camp

There’s an irony to this, too. Think of all the daily technology we utilize ostensibly to be more connected to each other: text messaging, emails, social media posts, and telephone calls. Thanks to modern communication technology, it’s simple to announce what you’re doing, ask someone a question, or look up information. The ease and convenience of using these technologies has made them ubiquitous threads of modern life. At the same time— and here is the irony —it seems they are isolating us as human beings. Sending a text message is a thin gruel compared to the deep feelings that accompany being present with someone you care about. An email conveys only a shadow of its sender. Facebook, despite its attempt to offer a “multimedia experience,” can’t touch the emotions of being with supportive friends. There’s no electronic translation for kindness. If our ordinary lives are increasingly defined by these diminished forms of communication, if we’re left with only these rarefied connections to other people, then, as we become more isolated, our humanity is going to suffer.

Thank goodness for camp! Here we feel more connected than ever despite (maybe because of) giving up our electronic communication devices. For good reason, we unplug to connect more fully to those around us. Life at camp feels good because it begins with wholehearted connections, with the messy and rewarding energy of a community. The contentment your girls feel at camp springs from living face to face, directly and without the filtering “convenience” of technology. It’s providing them proof that having kind, compassionate relationships with other people is a bumpy, fun path to a rich and rewarding life.

camp girl friends

Third Session Video Highlights

Describing camp life, revealing what makes simply being here loved by the girls at Rockbrook, is really difficult. Of course, we try all the time —by writing regular blog posts, and posting hundreds of photos to our online gallery— but the experience is too rich, too complex, and too emotional to convey completely.

Fortunately, there is video, and we have a great one to show you. Robbie Francis of Go Swan Filmworks has been working with us this summer to produce several short videos about Rockbrook.  Here is his most recent.

Take a look! You will love it.

P.S. Be sure to have the volume turned up. Hearing camp is amazing!

Staff Development: Sample Lesson Plan

The perfect shot

Partner work can have a powerful affect on a staff development curriculum. This lesson plan focuses strongly on elements of staff accountability and communication. Our goal is to subtly guide cabin leaders to communicate the ideals of camp within the framework of their own experiences. This lesson is best presented mid-season.

Materials Needed:

Large slips of paper, pens, ziplock bags or small jars

Instructions:

1. Staff are instructed to sit with a partner. (Counselors will switch partners throughout this activity, ten partners total.)

2. On a slip of paper, staff then write a response to a prompt (see below) read by the group’s facilitator (one prompt response per slip of paper).

3. Upon completion, staff will fold their responses and present the folded slip of paper to their partner. (It is critical that each partner cannot see the other’s written response).

4. Partners then place the folded response, without looking at it, from their partner into their ziplock bag or mason jar.

5. This pattern continues for three prompts per partner set.

6. This entire activity will yield a total of thirty different responses for each staff member to store in their bag or jar. Staff can read each response from their partners in any way they desire- they can read the prompt responses all at once, one each day, one each time they need a piece of inspiration, etc…

Blue Ridge Parkway

Partner #1: Focus- Cabin Culture

1. Write a statement that makes your partner feel powerful and confident in her capabilities as a cabin leader. This can be advice, a compliment, a recount of a camper’s description of your partner- or anything else you can think of!
2. Suggest how your partner can pamper herself during challenging moments at camp. How do you suggest your partner step back and relax when she feels overwhelmed?
3. Write a “big picture” statement. Remind your partner of the dent that her work in her cabin is making in the universe.

Partner #2: Focus- Program Objectives

1. What can your partner do when she wants to add new excitement, zip, and illumination to her teaching style at camp? Give her ideas.
2. Remind your partner how the energy and effort she puts into teaching her activity is actually changing the world. How is her hard work making our corner of the world a better place? What is it doing for our campers?
3. Give your partner a unique and creative idea to add a little spunk and spark to her activity’s lesson plans. If you were a camper in your partner’s activity, what would you like to learn and do?

Partner #3: Focus- Navigating A Session Change

1. Tell your partner what you really admire about her. How she can keep this element of her character strong even in moments of fatigue?
2. Describe how you think the new session’s campers will remember your partner.
3. Share a quote or saying that you think will inspire your partner’s stamina and endurance.

Camp Crafts

Partner #4: Focus- Gratitude

1. List ten things that your partner can be thankful for here at camp.
2. Tell your partner why you’re thankful for her.
3. Tell your partner why she should always remain thankful to her campers.

Partner #5: Focus- Life Beyond Camp

1. Tell your partner how she can use her experience in this job to elevate her next academic year or her next year in her career.
2. Remind your partner of her potential and capacity to change the world for the better.
3. Suggest five skills and traits of your partner that she can use on a resumè or highlight in an interview.

Partner #6: Focus- Happiness and Laughter 

1. Tell your partner three things that will make her happy.
2. Describe and thank your partner for a time when she made someone else happy.
3. Write a joke to make your partner laugh.

Partner #7: Focus- Negotiating Feelings of Fatigue in a Job that Requires Energy and Effort

1. Write something, anything, that will give your partner good, energetic vibes.
2. Share with your partner how you navigate your own feelings of fatigue- these tips and tricks may help her too!
3. Work often requires us to give of ourselves completely. Even in moments of fatigue, explain to your partner why this job is worth doing.

Climb to the top

Partner #8: Focus- Morals and Ethics

1. How will your partner impact her campers as she makes morals and ethics the driving force behind all of her actions during the camp season?
2. Think of the little ways that we can “slip” in our job description at camp- staying up late, lingering a touch too long in the staff lounge, etc… Remind your partner of how her own experience will be enhanced if she stays strong and resists these little moments of temptation.
3. Your partner is a role model. Share with your partner how her high standards and morals inspires those she works with.

Partner #9: Focus- Challenges and Conflict

1. Name a time when you observed your partner artfully and effectively solve a problem.
2. What is it about your partner that makes her so well equipped to handle the world and whatever it throws her way?
3. Anticipate a challenge that your partner may encounter this week. Based on your knowledge of her capabilities and skills, how do you foresee her successfully solving the problem?

Dog Days

Partner #10: Focus- Our Imprint

1. Why should your partner dedicate her summer to giving her absolute all to this job, her campers, her peers, and herself?
2. How has your partner impacted the camp community thus far?
3. For the remainder of the summer, how can your partner work to make everybody feel like a somebody?

Staff Training: Ideas and Instruction

Reflection is an essential component of any staff development curriculum. The following topics provide a solid foundation for individual contemplation as well as ideas to stimulate large and small group discussion. This material focuses on staff attention and efforts while it also communicates clear expectations of a camper-centric work ethic. These themes also help to reveal the meaning and power behind a staff’s work and purpose during the camp season. Each question can be easily tailored to reflect an individual camp’s philosophies, missions, and program objectives. Most of these questions are best presented to a staff at the middle or end of a camp season.

1. Describe a time this summer when you completely exceeded your expectations for yourself.

2. This summer, did you experience more moments that were professionally rewarding or professionally challenging? Throughout the season, did you focus more attention on the rewarding moments or the challenging ones?

3. Describe a moment with campers that made you stop and think.

4. Practice gratitude. Create a list of ways to thank yourself on your time off.

5. Do you have a role model on staff? Identify what you admire about her.

Tower climbing at camp

6. Can you recollect a time when you solved a problem by stepping back and using a sense of humor? Conversely, can you recollect a time when you solved a problem by stepping in and taking yourself and the situation completely seriously?

7. Share a positive thought for the start of each day.

8. Describe one topic that you’re passionate about outside of camp and explain why you’re so dedicated to it.

9. Set a milestone to celebrate with your campers this summer. What will it be and how will you celebrate it?

10. Describe a time when you thought and acted beyond your own immediate needs for the good of the camp community.

11. Create an award to present to the entire staff.

12. Name a way that this job will affect your life outside of camp.

13. Name one thing that you offer the camp community that is uniquely your own; something that can never quite be replicated.

14. Imagine that you’re giving advice to next summer’s staff. What would you like to say to them?

Water Fall

15. How do you define “success” at camp?

16. Is there anything about yourself that you wish you’d known at the start of the season?

17. Imagine that you’re writing a thank you note to your campers. How will you thank them for who they are and what they’ve taught you about yourself and your place in the world?

18. Imagine that you’re writing a thank you note to your co cabin leader (or program instructor). How will you thank her for who she is and what she’s taught you about yourself and your place in the world?

19. If your campers learn just one thing this summer, what do you hope it is?

20. What has this job done for you? What have you done for this job?

21. Describe a time this summer when you were pushed to think outside the box.

22. If you could take one thing that you’ve learned in this job and incorporate it into your life, everyday, what would it be?

23. Name your favorite place at camp and a moment that you shared with a camper there.

24. In the last 24 hours, try to count how many times your campers have made you smile. In the last 24 hours, try to count how many times you’ve made your campers smile.

garden cabbage

25. Did anything happen this summer that you expect to impact your next off-season year for the better.

26. What is the quickest way to make someone smile? Do you do this often throughout your day?

27. If this summer has encouraged you to add any three things to your life’s bucket list, what are they?

28.Describe five random acts of kindness that you’ve witnessed this season.

29. What are our ultimate goals for our campers? How can we begin our work with these in mind?

30. If you could teach humanity a single lesson, what would it be?

31. If you had to create a time capsule to represent your work this summer, what would you put in it?

32. Give an example of a minor victory that we can celebrate as a staff.

America

33. Was there a mystery that you solved this summer?

34. Describe how we’re making a difference throughout our day’s work.

35. Name three character traits that are essential to being an effective and successful cabin leader.

36. Did you build anything from scratch this season? (Think beyond things here.)

Welcome to Kid World

One twilight, late in July of 1999, I sat on the Rockbrook hill with my counselor, watching the sun sink down behind the mountains.

Well, she was watching the sun. I was too preoccupied with the stream of words pouring uninterrupted from my mouth to give much thought to the scenery.

Goofing Off

I had been writing a new story for the past few weeks, and my counselor had made the classic mistake of asking me what it was about. Forty-five minutes later, she was still nodding along, as I explained the great tragedy of the main character’s mother not understanding that taking time to do her homework would distract her from her duties as a spy (what my stories lacked in originality, they more than made up for in melodrama). My counselor asked all the right questions, laughed and gasped in all the right places, and, in all, served as the perfect sounding board for my eight-year-old yarn-spinning. I was delighted.

Today, I remember very little else about the story in question (thank goodness), and even the once-familiar face of my counselor has faded into a half-remembered smile from an old cabin photo. But what I do remember with perfect clarity were the sensations I felt that evening on the hill.

Glee
Jumping for Joy

The astonishment at being asked about my story out of the blue.

The shyness with which I began–sure that she only wanted to hear the barest details.

The glee with which I greeted her many follow-up questions.

And, more than anything, the growing realization that she was going to let me keep talking. There was no polite smile, and change of subject as the details of my story got more and more intricate. There was no attempt to steer the conversation to a topic more interesting to her. There was no indication at all that my counselor would rather be anywhere else than right there on the hill, listening to a play-by-play of my story.

Good Clean Fun

My whole life to that point, I had been trained on how best to be a kid in the grown-ups’ world. How to listen to what the grown-ups tell me. How to eat the food the grown-ups put in front of me without complaint. How to entertain myself or play with other kids rather than pester the grown-ups with constant requests for games or entertainment. How to recognize when the grown-ups are discussing something important, and wait my turn. How to be patient, quiet, seen and not heard. How, in short, to be a polite, well-behaved child. And these lessons weren’t a bad thing–they prepared me for the day when I would have to become a well-mannered adult.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that some of these lessons sank in better than others. I was, and still am, rarely seen without also being heard. But I was also always aware of how far I was trespassing beyond the bounds of good manners for a child. Whenever I talked to a grown-up, I would be waiting for the moment when I’d be told that my time was up, so that the grown-up could turn back to whatever grown-up matters there were to occupy their time.

And yet, there I was on the hill, treading far past the dictates of good manners, as I spent ten minutes describing the main character’s relationship with her best friend (and mortal enemy), and my counselor made no move to stop me.

More Please!

It was during that wonderful hour on the hill, several days into my first session at camp, that I first began to understand the central truth of camp: this is not the grown-up world. It is proudly, defiantly, magnificently not the grown-up world. I was not a guest in this new camp world, there to have Very Important Life Lessons served up for me by the nearest available adult. I was an active participant in this community, able to make my own choices, talk until I was blue in the face, make my own mistakes, and craft my own camp experiences. And every adult in sight was there to make sure I had the time of my life while doing it.

These days, I have the rarer opportunity of being a grown-up at camp. I get to be the guest in kid-world. Whenever I get lost in the logistics of camp–those lists of names, activities, and out-of-camp trips that pass through my hands every day–I can be snapped out of it at any moment by an invitation to a dance party in a lodge, or to the newly opened spa in Junior 3. I can be asked to braid one girl’s hair on the steps of the dining hall, and find myself braiding six others in quick succession afterwards, because why on Earth should I say no?

Just Lying Around

I get to watch as campers spend the first few days of camp coming into their own, and taking ownership of this new world. I get to see the looks of dawning possibility when they first choose their own schedule for the next three days. I get to see them try the food on the dinner table and, if they decide it isn’t for them, head off to the salad bar to find something more to their liking. I get to see them come alive in kid-world, and realize that, unless their safety or someone else’s is at risk, we won’t hold them back from pushing their limits and experiencing new things.

But my favorite moment to watch will always be those one-on-ones between camper and counselor. When I get to see the moment that the child realizes that her ideas, opinions, and interests are sincerely appreciated by an adult she respects–an adult who will listen without promoting their own ideas as being better informed or more interesting.

That’s the moment when they realize they’ve entered kid-world, and it’s going to be better than they even imagined.

Shut Your Mouth

Being a great camp counselor means being aware of the needs your campers have, even when they don’t express them directly. It can mean knowing when to speak and when to listen. At times, camp life asks us staff to be quiet. Here are a few times when we best serve ourselves by staying silent.

In The Mud

When We’re In The Mud

Anytime we find ourselves engaged in a nasty conversation, we should shut our mouths. Gossip and cruel words about the character, clothing, or personality of anyone else adds no value to our own lives. In fact, those powerful words do quite the opposite. At these times, we can open our mouths only to stand for the hard right against the easy wrong.

When We’re Learning

Teachers come in many forms- bosses, children, friends, books, newspapers, animals, moments, and, of course, teachers. When life is presenting us with a lesson we should work to keep our mouths closed. We can listen and observe, and allow our minds time to process the experience before we jump in with our own opinions.

Friend

When a Friend Comes To Us

Often times, we just want to help. When a friend or loved one comes to us with an issue, our first instinct is to problem solve. We, initially, must resist this urge. Let’s give our friends the time and space they need to explore their troubles from multiple angles. Instead of talking, we can listen, nod, empathize, and speak only when our loved one elicits our help. Mostly though, in this moment, they are searching for a listening ear.

When Good Things Are Happening Without Us

This shut-our-mouths moment is crucial for those of us who work with children. We want to facilitate conflict management, encourage healthy risk-taking, and manage our children’s choices so that they will make the right ones. Of course, we need to model best behaviors and teach our children healthy and wholesome ways to live their lives. After this, we can take a step back now and then. We’ll be amazed at how well children can manage their own arguments and how gracefully they can implement the lessons we’ve passed on to them. Practice makes perfect. Let them practice without us every once in a while.

When People Are Watching Us

…and we’re watched more than we realize. What we say helps those around us determine who we are as a person. If what you are about to say may speak negatively about your character: keep it to yourself.

The Good Life

When Life Is Good 

Sometimes we talk over our own bliss. Allotting ourselves just a few moments of quiet observation each day can help us see how beautiful our lives really are.