As the Rockbrook song goes – “dry or damp, we’re always having fun at camp.” This Sunday was no exception. Even with the leftovers of a tropical storm moving their way through, campers and staff alike were all smiles and greeted the day with that signature RBC pep and cheer. While some activities needed to be amended – both chapel and assembly on the hill happening in the gym – camp is all about flexibility and this was our day to practice that.

The day started with a chapel on friendship, where the junior and middler lines came together to remind us just how special the friendships we form at camp are. The most common analogy is the chocolate chip cookie friend; a friend who we may not see often, but when we do, we feel just as warm and gooey as a chocolate chip cookie on the inside! Camp, while only lasting a few weeks, offers campers the time and freedom to make some of their truest friends. Free from many of the societal expectations of the outside world and scaffolded with the trusting and fun space counselors provide, campers are able to relax and make these chocolate chip cookie friends with ease.

Rockbrook Surprises

Our day rounded out with some unexpected sunshine and a Rockbrook surprise: Prom Night! Part of the fun and trusting environment Rockbrook provides includes lots of Rockbrook surprises. Costumes, fun, and camp magic are the three ingredients for success when it comes to a Rockbrook surprise. These surprises are special events thrown by counselors and other staff members and come as a surprise to our campers. 

Each line had their own special prom location decked out with streamers, twinkle lights, tunes, and of course, costumed counselors! The juniors created their own handmade corsages out of tissue paper while the middlers and seniors showed off the dance moves they’ve been learning in the Dance activity. Dances at camp are a must, and the carefree environment of camp gives campers the freedom to dance like nobody’s watching!

Part of the joy of being at camp is having the freedom to do things just for the fun of it. It’s one part of what we mean in the Rockbrook mission statement by “carefree summer living.” We know that most children feel certain pressures at home and at school, perhaps to be productive (like adults) or efficient (also like adults). Camp is a special environment where girls are allowed to put aside those adult-like cares and concerns, and revel in the fun of this community of friends, active and outdoors.

A good example of this is a shaving cream fight, like the ones we held today for the three different lines (age groups). There’s no real serious purpose to the event. It’s girls in their swimsuits, a sunny patch of grass, a can or two of plain shaving cream per person, and the overall goal of smearing the slippery foam all over oneself and the others nearby. For some the goal might be to cover every inch of your body with the stuff. For others, it might be to completely lather your hair and then make crazy hairstyles. It’s also a chance to sneak up and surprise a friend with a handful of cream splattered on her back. You see, all of these are simply for fun, messy, slightly mischievous fun. Today we also pulled out a long piece of plastic to make a slip-n-slide. It turns out, bodies covered in shaving cream slide extra fast when sprayed with a little water from a hose. Again just for fun, but really big fun the girls.

“Just for fun” applies to a lot of the regular activities at camp, even ones that for some can be taken very seriously. For example, dance can be a serious endeavor for some girls, one that includes hours of training, rehearsals and performances. Dance can be someone’s profession! Our dance activity at camp is more lighthearted. It does include learning specific dance moves or a choreographed routine, but it’s intentionally a little silly. It’s meant to accommodate a range of talents and experience so everyone can feel good giving it a try. Not a great dancer? We want to prove that dancing can be fun no matter what your sense of rhythm or timing. Feel a little awkward on the dance floor? When something’s just for fun, you don’t have to be “good” to enjoy it. Encouragement and support in a non-competitive community make trying something new all the more enjoyable, no matter how it turns out. Girls who are serious dancers have told me they love dancing at Rockbrook precisely because it’s not serious. They love being free to experiment and be silly (since that’s not as celebrated ordinarily in their dance world). I’ve heard this same comment about tennis and swimming too. Even though they need to be serious at times, kids also need to do things just for fun.

Not Just Fun But Fun That Matters

All that being said, what happens at camp is not “just” fun. The experience of being here is not simply some kind of fleeting entertainment. As I’ve said before, camp is “fun that matters.” In addition to the outward physical skills developing at camp— learning to sew, to do a cartwheel, to play gaga ball, to shoot a bow and arrow, and so forth —girls are improving their self confidence by accomplishing so much independently from their parents. They’re becoming more resilient as they deal with manageable setbacks or disappointments. They’re definitely improving their social skills living so closely within this small community. Perhaps most importantly, they’re discovering more about who they are and feeling good about their authentic selves. Wrapped in a thick layer of big fun, there’s a lot of really important, long-term personal strengths developing at camp as well.

You may be familiar with the idea that kids should be encouraged to go outside of their “comfort zone.” And that at camp, there are many chances to do that. It’s almost inevitable, in fact. New activities, new people, new food, new weather— life at camp is very different from the “comforts of home.” For most children, all that newness is bound to be challenging in some very unexpected ways, especially when it occurs without one of the main sources of comfort in a child’s life: her parents. But after all, that’s exactly the point. Because it’s so different, camp is not supposed to be entirely “comfortable.” It’s supposed to be (appropriately!) challenging. Some of the magic of camp comes from that fact, and when combined with a supportive, encouraging community, it’s a powerful force… even transformative.

My hunch is that most parents who send their kids to camp already get this. They don’t want their kids to sit back and coast through life always choosing what’s the easiest. They don’t want their children to develop a habit of complacency, to always need a road map of conformity to feel safe. They don’t want their children to be afraid to explore, or be tethered too tightly to what’s familiar and predictable. They don’t want their kid’s world to be that narrow and fragile, that strict and ultimately stale. Even though it might feel good at first, the “Comfort Zone” is ultimately unfulfilling. The irony is that it’s us parents who effectively build this trap for our kids just as we care for their needs. We are the ones who supply the comfort zone, making it extra plush, and some us are darn good at it!

The Trap of Comfort

Of course, the opposite should be avoided too. We don’t want our children to be in danger, to be faced with extreme consequences, or to risk permanent suffering. There are situations where attention to safety warrants taking specific, careful action to protect our children from harm. Certainly, we do our best to help our kids avoid being in the “Danger Zone.” We don’t want the challenges our children face to be so extreme they become discouraged. We don’t want them to take on so much risk that there is no way to recover. We don’t want for them to explore so much that they become lost.

There’s a sweet spot, however, between comfort and danger. There’s what’s been called the “Growth Zone.” And it’s where we try to dwell at Rockbrook. There are plenty of challenges to be found here, for sure. There are bound to be moments when your daughter will struggle, experience some kind of minor setback, or feel frustrated by something not going exactly like what she’s used to. There are challenges built into the activities too: hitting the target in archery, reaching the top of the climb, threading a needle, centering your clay on the wheel, and so on. And there are even challenges to just living at camp and being part of this community: doing cabin chores, working through personal disagreements, handling the crickets that find their way into the cabins, and trekking up and down all the hills, to name few.

The Sweet Spot Between Comfort and Danger

I hope you can see how all of these challenges are appropriate, ones where the girls here can successfully develop the skills, confidence, and perseverance to overcome them and grow. That’s where the the camp community is crucial. All around us at camp there are helpful friends. There is encouragement and support. There’s coaching and plenty of good role models to demonstrate how attitude and effort can make a big difference in moments of discomfort. And when so much of camp life is also incredibly fun, there’s a unique power inspiring girls to carry on and accept the challenges that come. The result is recognizable personal growth in self confidence and resilience. Over time, adapting to challenging situations becomes normal, expected. In this special environment, camp girls develop a sense of who they are— capable and strong. They begin to understand that what’s new and different is potentially an opportunity. They realize that stepping out of their comfort zone, but not so far to be in danger, is a recipe for growth. They learn that growing, not comfort, is what makes life fun.

Will your girls describe their camp experience like this? Certainly not in so many words, but I’m sure they are absorbing this idea. They’re living in the growth zone everyday while they’re here at camp. I love the idea that amidst all the action and silly fun you see at camp, there’s something lasting and beneficial happening too. Such good stuff!