Jeff Carter is the Director of Rockbrook Camp for Girls in Brevard, North Carolina. He attended Davidson College, earned a master's from Harvard University, and holds a Ph.D. from the University of Chicago in the History of Religions. He has taught at Vanderbilt University, Davidson College, and the University of South Carolina. He received a Fulbright Fellowship to study in Nigeria, is an All-American college athlete, and a published author. Beginning in 1988, he worked for eight years as a camp hiking and rock climbing guide before becoming, with his wife Sarah, the owners and directors of Rockbrook.
Sometimes you have to get a little messy to feel this good. Like tonight after dinner when we had a shaving cream fight down on the landsports field. Chase announced the optional event in the dining hall, and from the cheering it was clear we would have plenty of girls ready to romp about with the slippery white foam.
The point of a shaving cream fight is simple— spray the contents of your can both on others and on yourself. Then run around smearing, wiping and rubbing the shaving cream into everyone’s hair, on their backs, and ultimately everywhere. Beyond that, the goal is to have fun, be silly and enjoy the mess of it all. It’s as simple as that.
There are no teams, and this is not a competition where we pick a winner at the end like some games. So it’s not much of a “fight” really. It’s more cooperative since it’s just as much fun to be attacked as it is to splatter others. Part of the fun is surprising someone, sneaking up to them and planting a blob right on their back, shoulder or leg… as you race away grinning, and secretly hoping, but also looking out for, someone who will do the same to you. No score: just the fun of playing the game.
And it’s absolutely hilarious! Once the spraying begins, you can’t hear anything except shrieks of delight and laughter. We all (yes, counselors and directors too!) quickly begin to look pretty funny, our hair sticking up, with white beards and mustaches, if not completely foamy.
A shaving cream fight feels liberating too. It’s a little mischievous and outrageous, but still sanctioned, even celebrated at camp. It’s a harmless way to go a little crazy, while at the same time laugh and play with your friends.
What to learn from a shaving cream fight? I’m not sure, but I’d say it’s a wonderful way to experience uninhibited joy, a deep feeling that in our ordinary lives too often struggles to find expression. At camp though, it’s pretty easy; we find it everyday.
Robbie Francis of Go Swan Filmworks spent a day at Rockbrook again this week filming little snips of camp life and editing them to make a short video for us.
You may recall the wonderful videos of camp he made last summer. They are a fascinating peek into what we’re up to around here, how happy and busy your girls are, and to some extent, how it feels to be at Rockbrook.
Watching the video is a highly recommended way to spend 2 minutes of your day.
It’s a comment we hear a lot around here… from perceptive visitors taking a tour while camp is in session, from counselors marveling at simple moments of their day, and certainly from campers as they reflect on how camp feels to them. “Everyone seems so happy,” or “These are some happy girls,” or “Rockbrook makes me happy!” I think I’ve seen it on a t-shirt too; “Camp is my Happy Place.” And it really is true. There’s something special about life at camp that makes everyone here remarkably happy, especially when compared with the outside world. If you have been scanning our daily photo galleries then you have a sense of it. Camp life for kids has a general feeling of well-being, joyful engagement, and belonging.
But here’s the thing— this feeling isn’t dependent on the activities we’re enjoying. It’s not like we’re happy only when kayaking, weaving, riding a horse, hiking through the woods, or playing tetherball. Sure, we are happy when we are doing exciting things like riding through the trees on a zipline, and we are happy when we savor the day’s surprise muffin flavor, but the happiness of camp extends to other times that might, from a different perspective, be described as “work,” or even as “boring.” Camp girls are happy at times “just hanging out,” sweeping their cabin, taking their turn wiping their dining hall table, or simply walking down the line after hearing the bell for lunch.
In other words, the happiness we experience at camp is not the same as the fun. …or even pleasure or satisfaction. Obviously, camp is great fun, regularly punctuated by pleasure, and satisfying in lots of ways. These are the moments we write home about— getting a bullseye in archery, throwing a pot on the wheel, going back for thirds of Rick’s homemade guacamole and chicken flautas. Everyday there are activities and special events designed to be fun and carefully planned to be satisfying and enjoyable (a trip to sliding rock, a drumming workshop, a wet and wild creek hike, or simply singing together during morning assembly, for example). These moments are entertaining and great, and they certainly contribute to the happiness of camp, but they do not alone make camp a happy place. There must be something more going on. If not the fun, what is it about camp life that encourages such happiness?
An idea from Aristotle might be helpful, namely that happiness stems from “meaningful action.” The notion is that happiness is not a momentary, fleeting fulfillment of desires (like escape from boredom, for example), but is instead a way of being where one’s actions are meaningful. What makes our actions “meaningful” becomes the question, but perhaps the secret to camp happiness it that it somehow lends meaning to our actions. What we do at camp means something to us as individuals.
OK, but when camp girls make a friendship bracelet, shoot riflery, or go whitewater rafting, how does it mean something to them? What’s special about camp that makes ordinary actions more “meaningful?” I’m not sure, but as one counselor who I was discussing this with put it, “It’s all about community.” She said what we do at camp means something because we do so much together, and we care for each other.
I love that idea because it suggests the importance of relationships, of beginning with kindness toward each other and fostering an environment where everyone is trusted, respected and loved. Do that, and we create a special place where we’re happy. In this way, I imagine all of our community values— care, cooperation, compassion, generosity —likewise contribute to our happiness by making whatever we’re doing more meaningful. So, being helpful in the dining hall, for example, is meaningful and makes us happy because it deepens our relationship with the other girls in our cabin. Sensing real encouragement and support from the people around you makes whatever you’re doing more meaningful.
There are probably other answers to this question about how camp life includes inherently meaningful action, and how it fosters such happiness, but I think our sense of community here is a powerful force linking the two. If so, we might use the idea prescriptively in the outside world and suggest that instead of adding more toys or more “fun” experiences, we can become happier by joining and supporting a camp-like community where our actions are meaningful. It’s one of the lessons of camp: build positive relationships with the people around you, make your actions meaningful through those relationships, and you’re bound to be happier. Now that’s something to take home!
Arriving at camp late in summer, as did our August Mini Session campers today, is a unique blend of excitement and relief. You could see it on their faces as they drove up the driveway this morning, and as they first met their counselor— bright, wide grins despite a twinge of nerves, and almost a feeling of liberation from the agony of waiting for camp all summer. So much waiting! Finally, these girls have arrived and we can get started with camp, all the friends, different activities, and fun surprises of life at Rockbrook.
Once the arriving girls got settled in their cabins, they joined the full session campers rotating through a sampling of camp activities. Tying friendship bracelets, playing tennis or gaga ball, hiking to Rockbrook Falls, picking flowers in the RBC garden, and making a wind chime or headband— there were plenty of ways to get busy right away… meeting people while learning about camp.
Burgers (beef and vegetarian) and fries, plus fresh cut cantaloupe and salad for lunch settled us down just as it filled us up. Rest hour then gave the new girls a chance for a quick camp tour, a stop at the lake for a swimming demonstration, and time for a cabin meeting before the main event of the afternoon.
And it was fantastic! With counselors and help from the Hi-Ups (our 10th grade campers), we threw an all-camp carnival right in the center of camp complete with different snacks, group games, fun dance music, silly challenges, and small prizes for everyone. With camp completely full of girls now, we created lots of options to give everyone plenty to do. Blue skies and a few light clouds floated by above while the girls spent to next two hours wandering from game to game, stopping to snack, dance and play as they liked.
Setting the tone right away was our favorite DJ Dawg back again to pump great dance music across the hill. For snacks (probably the second most important element at a party!), we had coolers of lemonade, a popcorn popper popping nonstop, and a very popular snow cone station. It was a hot afternoon, so we made several water events available too: a 35-foot tall inflatable water slide, a “dunk booth” beanbag challenge, loads of water guns, and a sprinkler to run through if the girls got too hot. Another game had the girls launch water balloons using a slingshot contraption. A second inflatable was an obstacle course that pitted two girls against each other as they crawled, climbed and scrambled through… while laughing hysterically. There was an area where the girls played Pin the Tail on the Donkey, another where they “fished” for rubber ducks from a pool, and another that challenged them to eat a doughnut or apple tied to a string. We had yard checkers, a giant game of Jenga, a ball toss game, and a corn hole game. There was a giant bubble station, three staff member offering face painting, balloon animals being tied, and two brave Hi-Ups running a “pie” (whipped cream on a pie tin) throwing station. Apparently, you smell like cheese after being splattered thoroughly with whipped cream. Another messy game that the girls loved was Twister, only made more difficult with the help of shaving cream and a little body paint on each spot. Messy and fun.
In every direction on the hill there where happy girls entertained by the games, enjoying dancing, cooling off, getting a little messy, and having an excellent time at camp. It was pretty hard to take it all in! Looking around, it was clear at least that this was a great way to open up the session. It got everyone involved, the full session girls meeting and playing with the mini session campers, and helped set the tone (positively euphoric) for the coming week.
There was about an hour of free time before dinner that allowed the girls to take a shower and clean up. Later, everyone signed up for their first set of activities so in the morning we can launch right into action. We’re just getting started and looking forward to the coming week!
An evening dance party with a neighboring boys’ camp is one of the most exciting events we hold every session. Just like in the movie(s) The Parent Trap, it’s an all-camp event anxiously anticipated and always a BIG deal in the girls’ minds. We have three different camps for boys we dance with: Camp Carolina, High Rocks, and Rockmont, and tonight it was Carolina’s turn to mix with Rockbrook.
Since we’d have too many children to combine both camps in one location, we have the habit of holding two dances simultaneously, dividing the boys and girls into an older group and a younger group. Tonight the Senior and Middler girls loaded our buses and vans for the trip over to Camp Carolina and the Juniors stayed here at Rockbrook to welcome the youngest boys.
Before that, when the dance was announced (Like all special events, we kept it a surprise.), it was an afternoon of grooming around here. Every shower ran non-stop for two hours, fully testing our tankless hot water heaters. It’s nice to never run out of hot water on a day like this. Special shoes appeared, and miles of long hair found a hairbrush… for the first time at camp in some cases, I’d guess. But don’t think everyone’s goal was to get “dressed up” for the dance. Cleaned up yes, but there were also plenty of silly costumes on display. I saw a “catnado” and a unicorn t-shirt, traffic vest, a supergirl and a bear costume. Many of the 9th graders used facepaint to draw a “third eye” on the their foreheads as well as the letters “CA.” Sports jerseys, bandanas, overalls, and tiedyes almost outnumbered “nice” shirts and shorts. Quite insightfully and in true Rockbrook form, these girls have allowed their playful spirit to outdo any expectation to be “attractive.” They know from experience that trusting that spirit makes things more fun.
The two dances themselves have a different feel. The younger kids dancing here in our gym were led by our friend and professional DJ Marcus. He’s an expert at playing music that is fun and familiar to the girls, with an emphasis on group dance songs like “Y.M.C.A,” “The Cha Cha Slide,” and “Cotton Eyed Joe,” for example. With the counselors dancing right along, the girls had a great time making conga lines, posing for photos, and trying new dance steps with their friends.
The dance at Camp Carolina for the older girls and boys was held in their dining hall. They set the mood by turning the lights down so a large illuminated disco ball hung in the rafters became the main light. The music selections focused on more current pop songs, with some Hip-Hop, Dubstep and Techno tracks mixed in. There was also an occasional slow song that signaled a few brave boys and girls to pair up for slightly awkward, arms-stretched, side to side shuffle. These slow songs equally inspired some girls to pair up and mimic that same slow-dance style with each other. It seemed to me that most everyone was happy when a fast song returned, replacing the finishing slow song. Group jumping instead of individual shuffling— it’s just better.
The bus ride back to Rockbrook was a chance to talk about the dance, to process what happened paying particular attention to who danced with whom, who said what to whom, and how they enjoyed the dance overall. One senior girl said she had “a great time,” and another told me she “loves the Camp Carolina dances.” So the reviews for the girls are positive! It was another great night out dancing.
You probably already know about our daily muffins, about how we have a baker who arrives early in the morning to bake a surprise flavor of muffin for everyone at camp to enjoy around 11am. It’s an exciting, homemade snack between activity periods that’s a highlight of the day for many of us. Word spreads pretty fast once the Hi-Ups pass the first muffin through the window on the dining hall porch, like today when a brand new flavor appeared: Cookie Crumble. They were amazing! Just look at them… huge chunks of Oreo cookie pieces in a soft vanilla muffin. Needless to say, all the extras seemed to disappear without a crumb remaining.
One of the coffee mugs here at camp —no doubt acquired at some point from the local Goodwill store— has three cartoon animals, a bear, a dog and a sheep, playing jump rope together, and proudly declares in red letters, “Fun is for Sharing.” More than just a cute mug, its message seems particularly true here at camp. After all, we share just about everything here and have great fun doing it. Like every true community, we do so much together— eat our meals, play, and create. We interact with each other all day, have conversations, communicating our insights, joys and frustrations. We wake and sleep at the same time. We open up to each other sharing our emotions, supporting each other with caring and compassion. We share the work of camp life too— setting up and cleaning up. While there are moments when we might enjoy time by ourselves, like reading on the hill or making a friendship bracelet in a porch rocking chair, more than likely we’ll be having fun with someone else or a group of people. Camp fun is inevitably shared fun.
Camp life is likewise a wonderful tangle of heart-felt relationships. It’s more fully human in that way. By always including others, by beginning with the ties of community, it helps us develop personal qualities that thrive in company. It provides real evidence of just how rich the world can be when it includes a range of perspectives, the unexpected quirks, and creative ideas offered by others. Life lived closely with others, as it is here at camp, is inevitably a source of humor, surprise, and many kinds of intense feelings. Never bored, we’re connected instead. Sure, being upset can sometimes be part of this community life, but with a basis of caring, kindness and generosity, we can work through that struggle too.
All good stuff, but there’s a habit that can form from all of this experience, and it’s a habit that I think you’ll appreciate. Maybe it survives only as a hunch, or a faint memory after the intensity of living in the camp community, but it’s this; being with others is the way to have fun. If you’re bored, then get together, be close. Rich entertainment comes through personal relationship. Camp teaches this lesson because we live it everyday. Our fun is that much better because we’re with others, not abstracted through an electronic device or flickering screen. So when you’re bored, do you reach for a screen, or do you look for a conversation with a real person? “Social” media is at best a weak substitute for real sharing, real fun. Maybe there’s not always someone around, but whenever there is, it can be fun. I hope that’s a hunch that can inspire us long after camp.
An example of this collective spirit happened tonight during our evening program when we held an all-camp campfire with an Appalachian mountain theme. This sort of campfire program is a tradition of sorts at Rockbrook called “Jug Band.” Akin to the old television show Hee-Haw, the counselors planned a variety show of songs, musical performances, skits and jokes. Of course, we included costumes and invited everyone to dress up with bandanas, overalls, hats and anything “country” they could think of. We sang lots of songs, like “Mountain Dew,” “She’ll be Comin’ ‘Round the Mountain,” and “Wagon Wheel,” for example. The campers helped tell some of the jokes too: “Why was 6 afraid of 7? …Because seven ate nine!” Sarah made an appearance dressed as “Granny” and helped lead several of the songs. Here in the mountains of western North Carolina, set in woods beside huge rocks and ancient trees, and glowing from the campfire light, we sang and laughed together into the night. Yes, it was a lot of fun. What could be better?
You have got to see this latest video! …Robbie Francis of Go Swan Filmworks spent a day this past weekend filming, and with more of his magic editing, produced this amazing 2-minute piece. All the photos in our daily online gallery can only hint at what it feels like here at camp. This video can get you a little closer to understanding.
It occurred to me recently while scrolling through the online photo gallery that despite our two photographers taking hundreds of photos each day (one day this week, we posted more than 1800!), it’s pretty common for us to miss a lot of the action going on at camp. Partly that’s because everything is going on simultaneously and the photographers can’t be everywhere at once. While some girls are aiming rifles at paper targets, others are aiming basketballs at hoops. Some are riding horses, while others are painting and drawing. There’s weaving in Curosty, and ziplining in the woods above the office. Taking great photographs of girls making tie dyes, for example, means we’re missing others doing yoga or climbing Castle Rock. This also explains why you might go several days not seeing a photo of your daughter; the photographers simply missed her during the activity periods, and during her free time (just before lunch and dinner, and during “Twilight” right after dinner), when she may have spent time laying low, they were elsewhere. I know that can be frustrating, so feel free to give us a call if you want the photographers to make an extra effort to find your girl!
Another limitation of our photo gallery is that it never does justice to the adventure trips that go out every day. Our photographers mostly stay in camp, so we rely on the trip leaders to snap a few photos of the girls as they are kayaking, rock climbing, whitewater rafting, backpacking and canoeing. As you can imagine, it can be tough to guide an adventure activity while also taking pictures of it. The photo gallery shows that different outdoor instructors are inconsistent with that, since this week alone we’ve had all of these trips and more offered to the girls. Day hikes, rafting, canoeing, kayaking, rock climbing, even a waterfall scramble for the older campers— there have been some amazing outdoor adventure options available. The online photo gallery, while providing an fun peek into our daily life at camp, is simply not complete. It comes close at times, but we’re always up to more than you see there.
The other day, several of our CA campers, who are girls who have finished the ninth grade, took some time to write down how they are feeling about camp. I thought it would be interesting to hear a camper’s point of view, so I asked them, “What do you want people to know about your experience at Rockbrook?” Here are a few of the responses.
“CA year at Rockbrook is one of the most highly anticipated. I decided to go for a full session this summer so that I could get the whole camp experience. The past few weeks have gone by in a blur of paint, glitter, adventure, joy and excitement. I have been able to bond with all of my cabin mates and create new memories that I will remember forever. These girls have seen me in my most natural state, and I think there is extreme comfort in the fact that there are people here that don’t expect you to be anything other than that. Being older, I also find that talking to counselors is much easier. They have become my friends (as well as family). I do miss home a lot, but the people at Rockbrook keep me from being sad about it. Rather than feeling upset and homesick, I’m simply excited to share my experiences and adventures.” —Kendall
“Anxious whispers filled the room as my teacher distributed our writing prompt for the dreaded English final. I tapped my fingers on my desk, awaiting the task that was before me. A small white slip was placed in front of me that read “What is your heaven on earth? Explain.” It seemed like a complicated question, but my answer was simple. Rockbrook is my heaven on earth because when I’m there I don’t have to worry about anything in the world and I can be my true self. Rockbrook is a place where memories last forever and you create friendships that will last a lifetime.” —Reegan
“Rockbrook Camp has helped me so much through the past years. It is my safe place from a crazy outside world. The people here understand me more in 4 weeks than my friends back home. No matter where we all go, I know we will see each other again and remember our glorious camp memories.” —Emily
“This year I am a CA, and it has been the best year yet! All the girls are so nice and love our counselors so much! We have shared so many amazing moments and laughs, and we are only half way through the session. I’m so blessed to spend this time with my favorite people!” — Anna
Memories that will last, made with people who know and understand each other, a heavenly escape from the outside world… Living together, gloriously free from worries. These girls love camp.
Finally, I can’t help but post these two photos from our Twilight activity tonight, an optional shaving cream fight and slip-n-slide. Dressed in their swim suits, and ready with a can or two of shaving cream, girls of all ages raced around our landsports field, squealing with delight as they covered each other in slippery white foam and laughing uncontrollably because they looked so hilarious with their hair sticking up. Then when slicked down with shaving cream, the girls could really fly down the plastic slip-n-slide, crashing and spraying through the water as they went. The whole event lasted a little less than an hour, but it was an incredible display of uninhibited joy. Love it!
