This past summer, teenage campers introduced me to “Internet Brain Rot,” a term for how excessive social media use fragments attention, reduces thinking to hashtags, and leaves them feeling mentally drained. But the real damage goes deeper than cognition. Online life erodes something fundamental: our capacity for authentic human connection.
Despite promising to connect us, digital environments separate us physically and emotionally. They fragment our shared reality into algorithm-driven feeds, promote zero-sum competition, and reduce relationships to transactions. Young people are losing practice in the face-to-face work of navigating differences and finding identity through community contribution— suffering from too much “me” and not enough “we.”
The African concept of Ubuntu— which recognizes that we become fully human only through relationships with others— helps us understand what’s being lost. Ubuntu places compassion, mutual care, and relational identity at the center of human flourishing. That interdependence is exactly what gets eroded when we live online.
What Camp Teaches That Screens Cannot
Summer camp offers an antidote. As a lived example of Ubuntu principles, camp provides essential practice in relational skills that digital environments can’t teach. This reframes camp as crucial developmental work, and suggests that youth development programs focused solely on individual achievement may be missing opportunities to cultivate the “Ubuntu consciousness” that helps communities, and individuals within them, truly thrive.
Robbie Francis of FrancisFilmworks spent another day this past week filming at Rockbrook, and now has one last highlights video for us. Once again it’s a lovely glimpse into life at camp. The video does a great job of depicting the mood of camp right now, the warm friendships, the joyful laughter, and the huge variety of fun.
Take a look, and see a little more of camp in action!
Sometimes the weather is worth talking about. Like now, here at Rockbrook. We’re seeing a very unusual few days of cooler temperatures and misty light rain. Instead of 80s during the day we have 60s, and instead of the occasional thunderstorm rolling through, we have grey misty skies blanketing the mountains. Here’s an interesting chart of data from the Rockbrook weather station that shows the contrast. It looks like this slow moving front will be with us for a while.
Safe from Flooding at Rockbrook
I should mention that flooding is not a worry we have here at Rockbrook. While the French Broad river adjoins the horseback riding area, all of our camp buildings are further up the hill (more than 100 feet higher in elevation) safely away from the flood zone of the river. The record setting flood level caused by hurricane Helene last fall only touched one of our barns causing no damage. For us, this kind of rain increases the flow of our creeks and improves the waterfalls we can visit, but over the years, we’ve learned to channel rain water through culverts and down various gutters and ditches. The camp facilities do quite well, even with what seems like a lot of rain.
Carrying On Despite the Weather
The people at camp are well too! We’re making good use of long-sleeve sweatshirts and hoodies, and finding rain coats and shoes that are OK to get wet. Despite this “heavy dew,” the girls are still zipping around camp to their activities, still being creative, playing and enjoying each other’s company. All of our craft activities have continued as normal since they already meet in covered spaces, with the gym and dining hall becoming central locations for groups of girls who would have been outdoors (like swimming, for example). We’ve built fires in the fireplaces of the three lodges at camp to create cozy spots to warm up and hang out. We served hot chocolate during muffin break this morning.
We’ve taken some adventure trips in and around camp too. A few girls hiked out to Rockbrook Falls (the largest of the two major waterfalls on the camp property), and a couple of groups still navigated the Rockbrook zipline course, flying by through the drizzle and mist. Another group carried hammocks on a hike up to an area we call “The Nest.” This is a unique spot under Castle Rock where there is an overhang sheltering you from the rain. We added special hangers for the hammocks there allowing the girls to set up a “nest” and enjoy amazing views of the forest (totally dry!).
Building Resilience and Grit
This weather, despite it being a little uncomfortable, invites us to shift gears a little while still feeling like a regular part of camp life. The girls here show their grit and carry on, some completely oblivious to the differences. The girls are loving the freedom to be outside, to get a little wet and maybe a little muddy. They’re immersed in nature in a way that makes everything feel more vibrant and real. Most importantly, they’re with their friends, having a chance to sit a little closer and savor just being together. Having time like that, away from their usual sources of entertainment, is something they crave.
Take a look at this article in the Atlantic, and you’ll see what I mean. “What Kids Told Us About How to Get Them Off Their Phones,” By Lenore Skenazy, Zach Rausch, and Jonathan Haidt. Here’s the punch line: they want more freedom out in the real world to be with their friends. The authors claim our kids need more time with real friends in the real world.
Rockbrook Camp alumnae will tell you there’s one special all-camp event that gets campers more excited than any other, and that’s the dance with Camp Carolina. It’s been a long tradition stretching back to the 1940s that gets the girls of Rockbrook and the boys of Camp Carolina together once a session for a camp dance. Last night we continued that tradition of big excitement for a big night out with the CCB boys… a night for dancing!
Keeping It Silly
Both to tease the idea and to minimize over-preparation, we keep the exact day of the scheduled dance a secret. It’s more fun to keep the girls guessing, and we don’t want the event to be too serious. Just the opposite! We want it to be silly, light-hearted and fun! That’s why you’ll see our counselors dressed up in wild costumes, and the girls wearing plenty of shorts, tie-dye t-shirts, traffic vests, and even animal print pajamas. The older girls spend more time brushing their hair, but “getting ready” essentially means finding a clean shirt or putting on something brought especially for the dance.
Two Simultaneous Dances
For years now we’ve held two dances simultaneously, dividing the children into older and younger groups, and allowing the girls to feel more comfortable around boys their own age. The Senior girls and Hi-Ups loaded up our buses and vans to travel to Camp Carolina for their dance, while the youngest boys came to Rockbrook for a dance with our Middlers and Juniors in our gym. At Rockbrook, we had our friend Marcus (aka, DJ Dawg) spin up the music.
Both dances last night were a blast! As favorite pop songs followed one after another, the crowd jumped and sang along, mixing with screams of excitement. The playlist included classics like “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield, and the Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.”, plus well-known group choreographed dances like the “Cha Cha Slide” and the “Macarena.”
For the most part, the younger girls have groovier dance moves to show off, with limbs fluttering, flashy twirls and shakes. The older girls prefer a simple move of jumping up and down to the beat of the music, clustered together and with hands raised high. Everyone is laughing and smiling, enjoying themselves only to take short water breaks or to enjoy a homemade Rockbrook cookie.
It's Really About the Girls
Our dances proved once again that these events aren’t all about the boys. Sure, they are to one degree or another “interesting” to the girls, but it’s the zany energy of our Rockbrook girls that brings the fun. For both the younger and the older girls, the dance means grabbing a friend, or a group of friends, sticking together and letting loose to the music. There’s an impressive power to this when you have the right conditions to let it out. Camp dances do exactly that.
We wrapped up the dances around 8:45 p.m. Even after about an hour of jumping around, the girls were reluctant to stop the party. On the ride home, the older girls were about as excited as you’ll ever see them. It was non-stop chatter on the bus, comments about “yo-yo boy,” the music, and how “it smelled funny in there.” Still, I could tell everyone seemed to have really enjoyed our night of dancing.
We have a real treat for you: a fun highlights video of the session! We’re fortunate again to have Robbie Francis of FrancisFilmworks working with us this summer. Robbie’s been coming to camp, filming and editing these videos for us since 2015. He has an incredible knack for capturing so many of the sweet moments of camp life, wrapping them all up into a couple of minutes of video.
Rockbrook is bubbling with enthusiasm, full of excitement, and far too rich to summarize. These videos provide a wonderful glimpse into our world. I think you’ll really enjoy watching.
Summertime can be hot, as I’m sure most of you are experiencing firsthand these last few days. The same is true here at Rockbrook where the daytime high temperatures have been in the upper 80s, even hitting 91 Monday and Tuesday (which is unseasonably warm). The great news about camp is that we have plenty of ways to stay cool even through the hottest summer days.
For example, our swimming lake is always a popular place to be. A mountain stream constantly refreshes the water keeping it delightfully chilly. The girls love doing tricks off the diving board, zooming down the 60-foot waterslide, swimming “mermaid laps,” and just goofing around in one of the many floats. In addition to the swimming activity periods during the day, there are two “free swim” times (one before lunch and the other before dinner) when anyone can head down to the lake for a dip.
Another place to cool off at camp is in the creek that runs through the center of camp, in front of the Goodwill cabin and behind the Curosty cabin. This creek, along with Dunns Creek that feeds our lake, is another favorite spot. You’re bound to find campers with their feet in these creeks. They might be weaving a basket, working on a painting or drawing, or looking for salamanders in the WHOA activity. Some girls just like to sit near the creek when they have free time, reading or tying knots in a friendship bracelet.
Whitewater Rafting on the Nantahala
Whitewater rafting is a more adventurous way to cool off at camp. Any Middler or Senior who is interested (and who earned a blue swim band) can take a whitewater rafting trip on the Nantahala River. Rockbrook is known as a rafting camp since we take so many girls down the Nantahala. We have a special permit to use our own equipment and guides allowing us to easily take everyone who wants to go. And just about everyone does! It’s a splashy whitewater experience, full of laughing and goofing around. There are plenty of chances to pose for the camera between the rapids stretching along the nine mile section we run. With the water temperature of about 50 degrees, the girls are definitely staying cool!
A Break from Outside Pressure
There’s one more way that I think camp helps the girls here cool off. It’s a bit more abstract, but in some ways more lasting. It’s the cooling off they find from the pressure and stress they often experience at school. Of course this varies from person to person, and is more prevalent in older children, but it seems that kids these days endure a lot. They are subject to a vast array of expectations to perform, thrown into all sorts of competitions, and fed flashy idealized versions of what it means to be successful. Think of what online media is teaching. It might be easy to forget, but it takes work to be a kid, to measure up in these ways. It takes a lot, and our girls can feel that heat.
Fortunately, camp provides a release from all that. Life at Rockbrook is an unburdening for kids. Living mostly outside, away from the lure of technology, as members of an accepting, encouraging community of caring people, being active and engaged in the real world, free to explore, discover and meander with friends —camp is a relief. That’s why the girls will tell you they “feel really good” at Rockbrook, all while having a really great time. That’s what I call pretty cool.
A quick note about mail. Your girls love receiving cards and letters in their mailboxes, but there’s a balance to be found. When it comes to letters to camp, quality beats quantity. Read this article for tips about how to write to your camper. It spells out a few ideas about what to write, and what to avoid writing about. I think you’ll find it helpful.
They say good things are worth the wait, but sometimes that waiting is tough. Like when you’ve had to wait all summer for your camp session to start, or when it’s been almost a whole year since you’ve seen your camp friends, it’s almost torture. We saw many examples of this pent-up anticipation as the girls attending our third session arrived. They fidgeted in the back seat of the car as it inched along the check-in line, each stop seemingly taking far too much time. Some were bobbing up and down out of their car’s skylight along the way. These girls were ready to get started, and finally camp had begun.
Tours and Name Games
The counselors, too, were jumping with excitement eager to welcome their campers to Rockbrook. All morning, under beautiful sunny skies, girls arrived to join their cabin groups and begin setting up their bunks, making beds and organizing trunks. Each group took turns visiting the “spa” to have their hair checked, while others enjoyed walking tours of the main sections of camp. “That’s the path to the Alpine climbing tower, and that’s the way to the woodshop.” The youngest girls, the “Juniors,” visited the camp store to collect the gear they had ordered. You’ll soon see bright new Rockbrook sweatshirts, pajama pants, and water bottles all around camp.
Swimming Demonstrations
Right away, we could see it happening: an easygoing feeling to those first conversations, to the name games, to the singing of camp songs at the assembly on the hill. After lunch, which featured heaping platters of Rick’s homemade mac-n-cheese, that same feeling added to the refreshment of taking our first dip in the Rockbrook lake. One by one, the girls jumped off the dock, swam and treaded water to demonstrate their swimming ability for the team of lifeguards. With the encouragement from the directors, lifeguards and counselors there helping, these “swim demos” also felt great in the warm afternoon weather.
As we settled down after dinner and enjoyed a sunset over the distant mountains— the hill at camp has a great view for summer sunsets —the girls again seemed at ease. The excitement of every camp activity will start in the morning. For now, everyone could rest in their cabin among new and old friends, breathe in the cool mountain night air, and feel the comfort of finally being here at Rockbrook.
With the second session of camp now closed for the summer, I want to thank everyone who helped make it so wonderful. After all, it’s the people of camp— the counselors and supporting staff, and of course our amazing enthusiastic campers —who create the special experience we all enjoy. It’s the people who are kind and caring, supportive and encouraging. It’s their friendly attitudes, their “happy relaxed” approach to just about everything, that colors our camp days. Together we found a spirit that propels this community to do more, experience more, and enjoy more.
Reflections from the Spirit Fire
At our closing campfire of the session, the “Spirit Fire,” we were reminded of how life at camp means this much. Campers talked about discovering new interests, making their very best friends, and feeling completely at home at Rockbrook. Staff members expressed their gratitude for being at camp, and for having the opportunity to know so many great people. One girl simply said, “I love everything about camp, and I love all of you even more.” It’s remarkable how close we’ve all become over these last few weeks.
Camp reminds us of the good stuff. It helps us see the magic in most things. It encourages us to explore and discover the incredible beauty of the real world, to trust each other, and be courageous even when something may be uncertain. Most clearly, we now know how incredible camp life feels.
Yes, it’s sad that something good is ending… for now. But I believe we carry camp with us. We can remember that being kind, and being a little silly, will help us. We can sing a favorite Rockbrook song anytime we want. We can stay in touch with camp friends. And we can look forward to returning next summer.
To all our Rockbrook girls: we miss you already. We’re thinking of you fondly, holding tight the memories of our great camp session together. Thank you!
Until next summer, be kind, stay curious, and remember: the Spirit of Rockbrook is with you always.
Last year I wrote a post describing camp as the quintessential play-based environment, and therefore as the perfect contrast to what Jonathan Haidt sees as a modern affliction: the rise of a screen-based childhood. In his book The Anxious Generation he points his finger directly at smartphone use, a “safetyism” driving parenting trends, and the decline of community as the major factors contributing to the decline in the mental health we see among many young people in America. Quite rightly I think, he laments that our young people are spending too much of their time alone, indoors on their phones scrolling through social media, watching YouTube, and playing video games. And this is negatively affecting their wellbeing.
Now another recent (2024) book adds to the conversation; it’s The Extinction of Experience by Christine Rosen.
In this argument, it’s “mediating technologies” like smartphones, social media, and various apps that are diminishing who we are as human beings. Digital interactions are replacing face-to-face communication. Disembodied representations of reality have become substitutes for a sense of place. Idealized versions of things have become more common than direct experience, creating a “false realism.” Nowadays, we spend more time consuming the creations of others than having experiences of our own. She says, “more and more, we relate to our world through information about it rather than direct experience with it.” Certainly there are benefits to having more information, to using abstractions now and then, but there’s often a cost to completely losing touch with the details in things. Can you communicate well without seeing facial expressions? Can you understand the weather only from an app? Do you really know where you are if only by a GPS signal? Is a person really your friend if they’re only on Facebook?
The result is that many people, especially young people who have grown up tethered to these technologies, can begin to mistrust their own experience, seeing it as flawed, inadequate or disappointing. We seem to be raising a generation that struggles with in-person “awkward” conversations, with uncomfortable emotions like boredom, and with valuing the unpolished opportunities offered in the real world. Living through screens instead of directly engaging with the physical world reduces us to “users rather than experiencers.” Having everything filtered and sanitized in this way makes the real world, in all its complexities, something to be avoided, even feared.
When Real Life Feels Inadequate
Picture a teenager who won’t try a new restaurant because it seems “weird” or has mixed online reviews. Have you ever seen a group of friends sitting together but each so absorbed in their own device they’re essentially ignoring each other? Are the kids you know eager to go outside and do things, even to just “mess around?” How often do we enjoy downtime, have moments for reflection, rather than reach for our phones at every opportunity? How much are our kids learning from the people and world around them if they rarely lift their eyes from their personal screens?
Sometimes, I notice this when girls first arrive at camp. If left alone, they don’t seem to know what to do. Camp has a rhythm to prevent this, but otherwise they’d be “bored” without their phones. My hunch is they’ve grown so accustomed to constant electronic stimulation that the natural pace of real life, with its inherent pauses, quiet moments, and gradual build-up of engagement, feels uncomfortably foreign.
I think Rosen has identified an important warning. By mindlessly allowing our kids to define their world through these mediating technologies, we are robbing them of experiences critical to their successful development. We are shrinking what they know to what’s available on a screen, to what they can “post” on social media, and to what they find safe and convenient. We are stunting their ability to build mutually kind relationships. We are training them to distrust what’s unfamiliar and uncertain. We are turning them inward becoming more self-absorbed. We are making them fragile in the face of ordinary difficulties. We are isolating them from the beauty of the real world. We are shrinking their ability to live a rich life.
An Important Warning for Parents
I may be overstating things, but Ugh! It’s pretty horrible if we put it like that! If you think of the young people you know, perhaps even your own kids, some of this is bound to resonate. It’s also easy to see how these effects caused by living a mostly mediated life are negative, and how we should do whatever we can to counter them.
Fortunately, there is camp. There is Rockbrook and its daily dose of unfiltered engagement with the real world. Here, we trade our digital technologies, all the clicks and swipes and “likes” it values, for a life lived in the arena of real experience. Rich with relationships of all kinds, camp life is more human in this way as it rests upon direct face-to-face communication, embodied interactions with the natural world, creativity and discovery. Camp life literally brings kids back to reality, providing essential human experiences through doing things. Rockbrook’s supportive and encouraging community is the foundation that empowers girls to explore, to face uncertainties, and to accept challenges. It’s designed to bring us together in the real world, forging friendships between our authentic selves.
Camp Brings Kids Back
Camp is a place to practice this humanity. It’s a place to meander through the natural world open to its beauty. It provides daily opportunities to listen, to talk and sing, and to connect face-to-face with others. At camp girls learn to find joy even in imperfect moments, in simply trying things, while not thinking about something polished to post on Instagram.
After time at camp, with no phones in hand, something remarkable begins to happen. Girls become more engaging, more excited to do things, and more interested in the world around them. They want to watch the sunset rather than take a selfie with it. They want to try the pottery wheel even though it’s bound to make them muddy. They want to hang out and chat in the rocking chairs on the porch. They find deep pleasure in singing. Girls who arrived a little shy and hesitant begin to speak up in group discussions. We all learn to navigate social conflicts through direct conversation rather than avoiding or filtering them through technology. We become at ease no matter what the weather, rain or shine.
Perhaps most importantly, they begin to trust their own judgment again. Without the constant ability to Google answers or check with their parents, they learn to make decisions based on their own observations and instincts. And through that, they begin to develop confidence in their ability to handle uncertainty and navigate challenges. They gain some grit simply by getting back to reality.
Back at home after camp, parents often tell us they notice their daughters seem more present, more confident in face-to-face interactions, and more willing to engage with things rather than retreat to their screens. Of course the lure of technology is powerful and your girls are bound to need encouragement to find the right balance, but now they’ve experienced first-hand what happens when we put down our phones. Camp has proven it; life is better! Let’s choose to make it so.
