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August 4, 2018June 5, 2020 • Summer Camp • Naomi Penner

Seeing Past Failure

It is OK to fail.

I repeat: it is OK to fail.

This is not something we hear everyday, or something we ordinarily tell children. For most, we’re not looking for failure; we want success! But if thought about differently, this is advice we don’t hear enough. Getting that C on your math test or missing the bullseye in Archery may seem like the end of the world, but they don’t have to be.

I majored in Comedy Writing and Performing in college. Junior year, as part of my studies, I spent a semester at the Second City, a well known institute for comedy in Chicago famous for turning out comedic stars like Tina Fey and Stephen Colbert. An important lesson we were repeatedly taught during my time there was that not only is it OK to fail, but you have to fail. You have to go in front of an audience and try your stand-up or sketch act and it has to at least fail a few times so you can figure out what is funny and what is not. Failing, in comedy, is how you find your voice. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, it was the most freeing thing for me to hear that failing now and then was a good thing.

The American composer and music theorist John Cage had this to say: “Nothing is a mistake. There is no win and no fail. There is only make.” For him, especially in creative endeavors, what seems like a failure in truth contains the seeds of learning as long as one is determined enough to “do the work.”

That same lesson can be applied to camp. Accepting failure is especially important when, as a camper, you are learning new things all the time, whether it be in an activity or in learning to live within a community for the first time (communication! compromise!). Learning something new means expecting and accepting mistakes. It means you are going to fail once or twice or a few times before successful habits and skills come to be.

I teach Curosty, Rockbrook’s weaving activity, where girls are learning something new just about every time they enter the cabin door. For lots of campers, it’s their first time ever seeing a loom, let alone using one. For some, the act of weaving by hand is a new feeling completely. For them to expect to be perfect at it, not make a single mistake, from the get-go is a ridiculous expectation because they usually never are. They’ll have to tie and re-tie knots on their bookmarks a few times. All the potholder loops will pop out when they’re casting off their work. And there will usually be gaps in their first reed basket. But that’s the best way to learn: by failing. Correcting failure, seeing past it, always leads to growth. With the right attitude, moments of failure can blossom into real learning.

Camp is a safe place for this kind of learning too, because, no matter what, you know you are supported and encouraged by your friends and the entire Rockbrook community. Camp experiences keep us all experimenting, all discovering, and all failing now and then along the way. We’re all in it together. If there’s any place to fail and fail safely, it’s here.

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June 8, 2018May 4, 2020 • News • Jeff Carter

Fighting that Familiar Flicker

It’s Backwards Day! After dinner last night, during the regular time of announcements in the dining hall, Chase our program director surprised the girls by describing the creative challenge of being “backwards” the next day. Right away at breakfast this morning we saw the silly confusion of girls dressing backwards— t-shirts, shorts and hats worn in reverse… hairstyles too —braids running down foreheads, pony tails covering girls’ faces. The kitchen meals were reversed with burritos for the morning meal and breakfast foods (hash browns, bacon, eggs and fruit) for dinner. All around the camp, campers would suddenly walk backwards. Down at the rifle range, the instructor commanded, “Line the on ready,” and so forth. Back strokes at free swim, left-handed tetherball, and down-climbing at the Alpine Tower— there were small, inventive examples of being backwards all day long.

Meanwhile, the Hodge Podge craft activity was focusing on making tie-dye t-shirts in its classes. With squeeze bottles of brightly colored dye ready, the girls first folded and tied a white t-shirt into a chevron, bullseye, spiral or other pattern using rubber bands. Red, blue and yellow dyes, making shades of purple, orange and green, came next, the girls making decisions about how (which colors, where and how much) to apply them. In a few days, after the dye has time to set, it will be fun to unfurl the shirts, rinse them, and admire the colorful patterns created.

At the archery range, the girls were concerned with accuracy and precision rather than creativity. Like the target shooting at Riflery, the goal here is to remove variation and shoot the center of the target with each arrow. Practice, repetition, steady technique, and adherence to recognized protocols help focus the outcome (bullseye!). The most skilled archers are not creative when shooting; they are consistent.

Naomi, the head of our fiber arts program, tells me she has observed this contrast between creativity and consistency in the way campers approach craft projects. Some children want clearly defined steps, a recipe of sorts, to guide them through a project, while others want more open access to the materials and techniques, eager to play with options, make unexpected combinations, and literally venture outside the lines. She seemed to observe some campers being more immediately creative, while others more concerned with “getting it right.” At the same time, we both thought that everyone inherently has the ability to create. But like some muscles, some us are stronger at first and have developed that ability more effectively. There’s the notion that creativity is a force within all of us that we need only set free. And it’s a personal skill worth developing because it can serve us well when faced with new problems or other obstacles in the future.

There’s lots to say about the benefits of developing one’s creativity, and likewise how we might encourage our children to exercise their “creativity muscle,” but it’s worth noting that camp is the perfect place to do that. Everyday there are opportunities to create at camp. “What would you like to do?” is the question. All manner of practical and aesthetic decisions are made throughout the day. There’s time for exploring, and friends to accompany every new journey. Crucially, at Rockbrook there’s constant support and encouragement for trying new things, dressing up, and bold expressions, always without judgment or embarrassment. From acting in the play to evening cabin skits, and for so many more examples, there’s a freedom here to create, to give it a go “just for the fun of it.”

Also though, and this might be the most important factor, at camp there’s no electronic, passive entertainment. We put aside our screens, and thereby open up time to create. Without the seduction of that familiar flicker, camp provides kids the time, space and culture to encourage their creativity to burst out. In this screen-free environment, they can face a blank canvas and dive right in with paint, choose their own colors, and go boldly forward. They can feel more confident to explore what’s unfamiliar, and learn from the process no matter what the outcome.

Celebrating creativity… It’s a pretty fun habit! And good for us too!

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July 27, 2017March 27, 2023 • News • Jeff Carter

Dealing with Uncertainty

For quite some time now we’ve used the phrase “a place for girls to grow” as a tagline describing the Rockbrook experience. By this we mean, in addition to being a “really great time” for girls, camp is a remarkable context for learning things that can really help them later in life. Camp is fundamentally educational, “transformative,” even enlightening for the children here.

Knowing that camp matters like this, it’s fun to consider how girls grow from the experience, how they benefit from their time at Rockbrook. Everyday we see the benefits of summer camp at work— growing independence, blossoming social skills, newly found interests, resilience in the face of setbacks, burgeoning care and kindness toward others, an appreciation of community, and so forth. There are so many amazing opportunities for our kids’ best qualities to be energized and bolstered by camp!

Today a conversation I had with a new counselor helped bring another trait to mind. We were remarking that the newness of camp, the fact that so many things here are different from life at home, requires girls to be brave, in particular, to conquer any fears they might have about the inherent uncertainty that comes with a new experience like camp. Now, thinking about it more, I believe it’s true; camp teaches girls how to deal with uncertainty.

Particularly at first, uncertainty colors a great deal of the camp experience for girls as they encounter all sorts of novel and unfamiliar things. There’s our immersive outdoor setting, thrusting everyone into direct contact with the weather, with bugs, little creatures, the complex beauty that resides all around us. Also at camp, there’s the multi-layered social dynamics of cabin life, the idiosyncrasies of bunkmates and the necessary communication, cooperation and compromise such close quarters demand. There’s the perhaps strange foods being served. There’s the immediate independence that accompanies being away from home, far from the comfort, support and problem solving parents are quick to provide. Every new camp activity likewise includes a layer of uncertainty: the concepts and skills needed, the essential personal qualities that make participating possible. There’s the overall culture of Rockbrook too, its odd lingo, traditions, and expectations for behavior.

Each of these aspects of camp life are bound to bring up questions with uncertain answers. In nature, “Will that bug bite me?” In the cabin, “Who of these girls will be my best friend?” “Will I like the vegetable soup for lunch?” “What should I do with my free time?” “Will I be any good at playing gaga ball?” “What is the Dee Ducky?” “Is it really OK to sing that loud?” These and so many other potential questions make camp rife with uncertainty.

But here’s the thing; these Rockbrook girls are completely handling it! Despite the very real uncertainty woven through life at camp, they are answering all of these questions by simply being here. These girls are exuberant, not afraid of what might happen, or too anxious to jump right in. With bravery and often real confidence, they manage to stay positive in the face of whatever is happening. There’s a unique power at camp helping girls put aside uncertainty, move forward with very little hesitation and embrace a range of outcomes. Girls at camp deal with uncertainly so effectively it’s rare they even acknowledge it!

The source of this power at Rockbrook, how we might explain camp’s unique ability to encourage girls to deal effectively with uncertainty, is another complex question. I suspect though that this power springs from the forces of community here and the values that define our culture— kindness, caring, and generosity. When you feel included, respected, supported and cared for by everyone around you, not knowing what will happen, not knowing the answer to those types of questions, becomes far less worrisome. In this community, its just easier to trust things will be OK.

Finally, I think this ability to deal positively with uncertainty at camp is what makes all the other areas of personal growth here possible. It simply makes embracing what’s new, trying new things, and connecting with new people more exciting than scary, more a fun opportunity to seize than an experience to avoid. Yes, camp is a place for girls to grow. It’s a special community where they find the power to deal with uncertainty and experience the benefits of that habit.

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June 16, 2016May 8, 2020 • News • Mimi Dunn

Make New Mistakes

“So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.”
—Neil Gaiman

We awoke this morning to the rising bell as usual, and groggily got out of bed. (I’m sure somewhere on camp, girls get up with pep and energy, but on the senior line, we place a high value on sleep.) Once we woke up a bit, though, by sharing bits of news for the day at breakfast and playing a stimulating game of Ships and Sailors at morning assembly, we were ready to greet the day.

Today was the first day of a new rotation of activities. On the first day of activities, it’s as though the whole camp is refreshed and reenergized—girls are trying new things, or at least taking activities with new people. It gives campers a sense of variety, and asks them to choose whether they want to continue developing one particular skill or to try something completely new.

While walking around camp, I got to see the benefits of both of these approaches to activities. I first walked in to a dance class full of senior girls, practicing for the upcoming dance show. Some of them had danced before for plays and musicals, while others were laughing about how it would take them quite awhile to learn a chasse. The mood in dance, though, does not distinguish the girls who have danced from those who never have. A counselor teaches in a calm tone, laughing right along with the girls as they try to get the moves at once. They show me the beginning of their dance, and they are all equally excited about the success of their ripple. The girls are equally excited about coming together to do the ripple. As I walked away from the dance class, it hit me how welcoming and inclusive the dance class had been. Dancing, particularly in front of other people, is a vulnerable and intimidating action. Yet here were ten teenagers, making progress together, but mostly feeling totally comfortable and happy trying something new.

I think this exemplifies the philosophy of activities at Rockbrook. We are focused on the process rather than the outcome. In this way, mistakes are not just okay—they are celebrated. When campers make mistakes, it means they have tried something new and challenged what they thought possible. The noncompetitive environment of Rockbrook helps campers feel safe and supported even when they do make a mistake. They feel intrinsically motivated to try new things without outside pressures.
Initially when I came to Rockbrook, I remember being hesitant about this philosophy. Coming from a competitive academic environment and skills-focused surroundings, I wanted my activity to focus on outcome. If a girl could not tie a figure eight knot at the end of climbing, then what was she really learning? Eventually, though, I realized that I missed the point. I think this is typical outside of camp—school and sports are so focused on an objective that we rarely consider the virtues of the process itself. For climbing, even when girls do not reach the top, they are learning to push themselves beyond what they thought their limits were, but also learning that sometimes it is okay to stop. Rockbrook’s philosophy has become so central to my perspective outside of life. Although objectives are still important, I have learned to slow down and consider all that I am learning along the way.

I witnessed this today in climbing, actually. I arrived at climbing toward the end of the period, so Clyde Carter, the head of our outdoors program, was teaching the girls knots as the class was winding down. I saw girls trying to tie the knots, some ropes looking like a scrambled tangle, others coming close but it falling apart as they tried to tighten it. Clyde remarked in his gently humorous way, “They’re doing everything right, except tying the knot.” This was a perfect description of the feeling of following instructions step by step, but still struggling with an objective. There was no pressure to learn the knot, and some campers decided to put the rope away and get out of their harnesses. A couple of them were determined. One stood in front of Clyde and said assertively, “I will get this knot!” He then proceeded to explain it to her again and again until she could tie it.

In addition to creating a safe place to make new mistakes, the noncompetitive environment also encourages campers to be intrinsically motivated, rather than extrinsically motivated. They choose where they want their energy to go, whether it’s tying a knot, finishing mermaid laps, or going on a whitewater-kayaking trip. This gives them the power to set and achieve their own goals, not because they are a part of a team or because they need a good grade, but for the satisfaction of completing a task they choose to care about.

It is easier to make mistakes and to try new things in an environment that is noncompetitive, but it becomes even easier when that environment also does not take itself too seriously. We all had a great evening program that is best described as silly. The evening program was called Jug Band, and we all paid homage to the mountain heritage of Rockbrook. We dressed up in flannels and overalls, fashioned our own instruments out of hairbrushes and water bottles, and headed down to Vesper Rock for an old-fashioned campfire. We sang songs like ‘Mountain Dew,’ ‘Rocky Top,’ and ‘I Love Little Willy,’ while campers told their favorite jokes and counselors performed goofy skits. Everyone laughed and played along to the mountain tunes before the moon lit up the mountains and signaled that it was time for bed.

Unlike any other place I know, Rockbrook gives us subtle freedom and the realization that we should be making mistakes. We should never demand perfection from ourselves because it is only within trying new things, not taking ourselves too seriously, and being gentle with ourselves can we begin to take authentic ownership of our lives. These first session girls have one week of camp left, and we will continue learning these lessons every day that we spend at camp. When we leave, I hope we will continue to make new mistakes. I hope we continue to be brave enough to try new things and have the humility to laugh at ourselves when things do not go as planned. I hope we are able to write a paper on Romeo and Juliet or solve a hard math problem and take time to appreciate the process, not just the grade. I hope we are able to motivate ourselves to practice violin or practice our serves in tennis because we innately want to improve, not just because someone told us to. Ultimately, I hope our lives away from camp flourish because of our lives in camp.

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January 22, 2014July 30, 2020 • Children • Grace Wallace

Succeeding at Failure

When I was a junior in high school, my drama teacher set my class two challenges, each designed to get us thinking creatively:

Write down as many uses for a brick as you can think of.
Draw three creatures that do not exist, and that are combinations of a bunch of different animals. Use as much detail as you can.

The first challenge was a cinch. I’ve been writing fiction ever since I could hold a pen, and still can switch on daydreams as real as a TV show whenever I get bored. If you ask me to use my imagination to think up impossible things, I’m on solid ground.

Sure, I listed the usual (boring) uses for a brick: house construction, paperweight, impromptu dumb-bell, etc. But then came the fun ones: a piece of a giant’s Lego set, an impenetrable fortress for ant-armies, Twinkie-holder, napkin ring at a brick-layers’ convention, etc.

All this is to say, if you’re looking for something to do with that pile of bricks you have lying around your house for some reason, I’m your girl.

But then came challenge number two. Sure I could think of imaginary animals—how about a zebra-striped cow, with the head of a horse, the legs of a mini-elephant, and the horns of a water buffalo? Oh, and it can talk like a parrot! Oh, and maybe it can jump like a kangaroo! Oh yeah, the ideas were coming fast.

There was just one problem. I can’t draw. Not at all. Even stick figures are a struggle for me. I stared at that blank piece of paper, listening to the excited pencil-scratching coming from my neighbors’ desks, and my cheeks began to burn. I was the only one not drawing.

I just sat there, with my head down, until the activity was over. I couldn’t even let myself try. I couldn’t even permit a doodle. I couldn’t take the risk that the beautiful image I had in my head might not translate onto paper. Better to be scolded by my teacher for failing to complete the activity, than for it to be known that I might be less than excellent at something. So I just sat there, almost in tears, until the papers were collected.

I’ve thought about that moment a lot since then. Why hadn’t I even tried? Why had I assumed the result would be that horrible, without taking the simple step of just beginning? Why had I decided by the end of elementary school that I Am Not An Artist? End of story, no question about it, no need to try.

So many times, both in camp and out of camp, I see young girls give up on things before they’ve even begun.

“No, I can’t take pottery, I’m not artsy.”

“No way am I going to try out for basketball, I’m not athletic at all.”

“I can’t take the swim test. I’ve never been much of a swimmer.”

Somehow, it has become part of our mindset that our talents, our levels of intelligence and understanding, and our potential for achievement are set in stone from the very beginning. The thoughts that were racing through my mind that day in drama class consisted entirely of, I was bad at drawing in elementary school. Therefore, I am bad at drawing now. Therefore, I will always be bad at drawing, no matter how hard I try. Therefore, I should not try.

I know I’m not the only one that thinks this way. We have become so afraid of failure, because we think that that failure defines us even more than the successes that come afterwards. Sure, we know that da Vinci didn’t paint the Mona Lisa the first time he ever touched a paintbrush, and yet somehow we still think that if we fail the first time, then we will inevitably fail every time, with no shot at improvement.

But this is wrong. This is so wrong! Why should I, at 23 years old, have already decided which categories I belong in (Good Writer, Good Reader, Not-Good Drawer, Not-Good Dancer), and given up on changing any of them? Why should a 10 year old camper stand frozen at the edge of the dock on swim demo day, just because somebody told her one time that she wasn’t a very fast swimmer? Why should we throw away the chance to surprise ourselves with new, enjoyable experiences, in an attempt to save our pride from the sting of failure?

So here’s the challenge (you knew this was coming): allow yourself to be bad at something once a day. It can be a brand new experience, or an old one that you gave up on long ago. If you’re a bad dancer, then dance like a crazy person with your friends, and laugh when they tell you you’re not so good. If you gave up on piano after one lesson, sit down and bang out “Chopsticks” on the keys, and laugh when you hit a bad note. If you have always wanted to be a poet, then write down that poem that you have bouncing around in your head, and then laugh when you realize it sounds more like a Hallmark Card than Emily Dickinson.

That’s right: laugh. Train yourself to find the joy in failure. When that sinking feeling comes along that tells you to run away from the challenge before it becomes too much, then laugh it away, and try again. And again. And again. And again. Sure, maybe you’ll never be dancing at center stage in Radio City Music Hall, or tickling the ivories like Stevie Wonder, or becoming the next US Poet Laureate—but hey, maybe you will. You’ll never know unless you embrace the possibility that you might just fail, and then go for it anyway.

As for me, I’m still not a great drawer. But I hope that Mr. McFarland will accept this late addition to the creativity project. May I present, the Zebreleffow:

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April 10, 2013May 25, 2020 • Summer Camp • rbc

An Experience to Last a Lifetime

Camp is fun. There are shaving cream fights, muffin breaks, kayaking trips, Dolly’s visits, hiking overnights, funny skits, and so much more. However, camp is about way more than the present experience. The entire Rockbrook experience is meant to last us a lifetime. It is about building character traits that will help us later in life — confidence, independence, individuality, and so on. It is about being with nature. Camp is about making friends who won’t leave our side. The spontaneity, the adventure, the laughter and the FUN found at camp will stay with us long after we leave the Heart of the Wooded Mountain.

At Rockbrook, our mission is:

“To provide a haven for girls,

a place of their own,

where they can explore the beauty of nature,

try new things,

enjoy carefree summer living,

and make some of their very best friends.”

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March 13, 2013May 25, 2020 • Archery • rbc

Rockbrook’s Katniss

One of the most appealing things about Rockbrook is the opportunity to try new things. Many times you’ll be able to try activities that you wouldn’t be able to do at home for one reason or another. For example, you may want to learn how to roll a kayak, but you don’t have one at home. Try it at camp. You may have always wanted to climb a rock, but who has access to a rock face and a professionally trained outdoors crew on a regular basis? Climb one (or two, or three) at camp. You get the idea — camp is the perfect place to try new things!

This could be the reason that one of the most appreciated Rockbrook activities is archery. Who has the resources/equipment to try an activity like archery on their own? Not many, that’s for sure. For years, Archery has been one of the most sought after activities at camp. That esteem has only increased thanks to the fact that the most celebrated book-turned-movie series out right now is The Hunger Games, a story in which the main character, Katniss Everdeen, is depicted as an underdog, then champion, then heroine. And, as we all know by now, the skill that sets Katniss apart from the rest — she’s a magician with a bow and arrow. Katniss with a bow and arrow is like Michael Jordan with the basketball as time expires during the playoffs: GOLDEN. So, it’s only fitting that archery’s popularity as an activity at camp has soared. Suddenly we find ourselves thinking: I want to be like Katniss.

This is where Rockbrook and Katniss collide. Longtime Rockbrook girl, Marston, decided early on that archery was one of her favorite activities at camp. It didn’t take us long to see how much Marston enjoyed archery, and bullseye after bullseye proved that she was pretty good at it too. Besides loving archery, Marston’s also a pretty big Hunger Games fan. Check out the photos below of Marston, on the left, and Katniss, on the right. I’m no expert when it comes to archery technique, but I think Katniss could take a few tips from Marston. Such focus, such form!

So Marston’s a super archer and she likes The Hunger Games. Cool coincidence? Here’s another awesome addition to the saga: Jennifer Lawrence, the Oscar award winning actress who plays Katniss, seems pretty hip by any standards, and Marston met her!!!!!!!!!!!! Exciting, huh? Archery, Katniss, Marston, and Rockbrook all coming together. I wonder if Jennifer got any good shooting tips from Marston? Maybe the two can set up a meeting on the range. I have my money on the Rockbrook girl, our very own version of Katniss!

Martson and Jennifer Lawrence pow-wowing on the red carpet.

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