What Leads to Friendship

It happened again today. A counselor told me she was surprised how easy it was to make friends at Rockbrook. She said it took “one day” for her to feel real friendship from people she never knew before. This was astounding to her, and a little puzzling as to how it was possible, because ordinarily, making good friends was more difficult and definitely took a lot longer. I’ve heard it many times before; camp is where we make our best “forever” friends, and for some reason it’s easier to make friends at camp than anywhere else.

knitting class for girls at summer camp

Talking about it further, and thinking about what is different about camp, we hit upon an idea. We thought, “True friendship requires authenticity. When we are most authentically our true selves, we are most capable of making friends.” This works at Rockbrook because our camp culture, with all its practiced ideals, makes it easier for girls to trust themselves and forget the worries that accompany ordinary personal interactions. This place is free of social judgment, and beautifully empowering for girls to strip away the assumptions they may have about themselves and to reveal who they really are. At camp, they discover a freedom to be “the real me,” and realize that the people in this community still value and care about them. They realize that it’s OK to be quirky (we all are in some way or another!), and OK to not be perfect.

I think camp friendships are so strong because each is formed between people being genuine like this. With no superficial posing, nervous performing, or strategic posturing, we can really get to know each other. With no competition or social jockeying, we can be more caring and truly interested in each other. That combination leads quickly to friendship… not superficial friends formed between socially constructed identities we think will be attractive, but a mutual affection born from a deep understanding of each other. Please pardon me for repeating myself, but it’s this special camp community that makes all of this possible. The lesson to be learned, we concluded, was that being a “friendly person” means being brave enough to be your true self and to be kind and caring toward others. We practice this lesson everyday at camp, inspiring us to become more and more friendly.

proud camp girl with archery bullseye

Shooting a bullseye in archery, and especially in riflery, is not easy. Just aiming, shooting, and getting lucky isn’t enough to hit the center of a target 50 feet away. It takes careful, patient techniques, a certain amount of strength to remain still as you aim, and a great deal of practice to become more accurate and precise. Even hitting the target within the scoring rings is an accomplishment, and a good first step. So when a girl hits the center of her target, it is exciting. It’s achieving a long sought-after goal. At Rockbrook, we celebrate this success in a couple of ways. If a camper hits a single bullseye in riflery or three bullseyes in archery, they join what’s called the “bullseye club,” which earns her name being announced in the dining hall during a meal. Everyone cheers when the names are read. Hitting ten bullseyes in archery earns the “golden arrow” award, and achieving one hundred bullseyes is recognized with the “golden bow” award. Yes, it’s hard to believe, but a handful of girls in the past have reached the golden bow award level by the end of their session. That’s dedication, and great skill!

camp girl reading outdoors

There seems to be a lot of readers at camp this session. During points of free time throughout the day, there are several spots around camp where you can find girls tucked in with a book. Being left to decide for themselves how they’d like to spend their free time, these girls are choosing to read. But they’re also selecting some really cool outdoor spots to kick back in their crazy creek chairs. Reading on the hill under the huge walnut tree is a popular spot because it has one of the best long range mountain views in camp. It’s common as well to see girls relaxing and reading in the many red rocking chairs situated on the lodge and dining hall porches. There’s always reading happening near the lake too. Like being on vacation, there’s something nice about reading near a body of water, especially with a friend or two sitting right nearby.

It’s been really fun to see the girls enjoy our new outdoor dining areas at camp. As places to eat, they’re a big hit. Knowing that we needed to keep our cabin group cohorts separated at meals, and that having better air flow was preferable to reduce the chance of spreading anything between cabin groups, we decided to add on to the dining hall porch and the hillside lodge porch this spring. Both porches are elevated off the ground and, like most of the buildings at Rockbrook, are surrounded by trees. This creates a gorgeous forest view from the porches. The hillside lodge porch has gained the nickname “Treetops” as a result. The porches are cool and breezy, perfect places for a pleasant al fresco dining experience, like tonight when we ate Rick’s homemade lasagna, salad, bread and fresh watermelon. Lemon bars topped with powdered sugar were for dessert. People say they love the food at camp. Perhaps eating in these new outdoor spaces is part of the reason. It certainly doesn’t hurt!

three camp teen girls

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