3 Common Mistakes
By Bob Ditter, Camp Psychologist
1. Telling children the things you don’t want them to do, rather than the things you do want them to do.
We often tell children, “Don’t fight! Stop running! Quit arguing! Leave that alone!” This way of communicating leaves children with a much better idea of what we don’t want them to do than of what we do want them to do. No wonder many child-care workers are exasperated with the ways children behave! It takes awareness and a concerted effort to break this habit, but learning to say what we want from children pays dividends.
2. The tug-of-war trap.
When a child says, “I’m not making my bed! My parents didn’t pay for me to come to camp to work; I came to have fun,” most unseasoned counselors fall for the bait and immediately get caught in an argument about who paid for camp and whether the camper must make the bed or not. This happens because counselors don’t know what else to do.
3. Missing the feeling tone in what children say.
We become fixated on behavior and forget that a child may be acting out of fear, sadness, or a sense of loneliness. Unless counselors learn to identify and name feelings, much of what campers communicate to them may be lost.
Bob Ditter, Camping Magazine, 1996