You Have Got To Be Kidding!

Our campers are talented! We have pianists, jugglers, gymnasts, singers, and actresses! Girls who can rub their belly and pat their heads, touch their tongue to their nose, and hula hoop! Girls who can whistle, snap, and click their tongue.  Girls who make up hand-jives and dance ’til the cows come home!

Today, I feel honored to share one of my talents- when I was fifteen I wrote a few jokes of my own. Here’s a sampling- sure to impress all your friends!

Q: Why is Big Bird big, yellow, and feathery?

A: Because if he was small, yellow, and nuggety he would be a corn on the cob!

Q:What do you call a group a grizzlies cracking up together?

A: A BEARel of laughs!

Q: What do people who love to brag on themselves carry their papers in?Campers Outside

A: A GLOATbook!

Q: What is a UPS worker’s favorite sport?

A: Boxing!

Q: What type of chair goes to wild concerts?

A: A rocking chair!

Q: What vegetable do you eat when you want to be very fast?

A: Hustle sprouts!

Q: What’s a livestock’s favorite math tool?

A: A COWculator!

Q: What type of shoe stops up drains?

A: A clog!

Q: What type of chair is good at yoga?

A: A folding chair!

Q: What soothes a sick stomach and gives you neck support at night?

A: A PILL-ow

Q: What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?

A: Time to DUCK!

Q: What is a builder’s favorite kind of paper?

A: Construction paper!

Q: When playing spades with The Donald, why did the dealer lose?

A: He handed Donald Trump!

Q: Why couldn’t the farmer find his way out of the corn field?

A: He was in the middle of a maize!

Q: Which medical professional likes to break things?

A: A DENTist!

Q: What do you call a cow who always takes your stuff?

A: A mooooocher!

Q: What MTV show do bass fishermen watch?

A: The Reel World!

Q: What do you call a wild dog that you can’t find?

A: A WHEREwolf!

Q: How would you describe the views a peppermint gets while looking at the Blue Ridge Mountains?

A: Breath Taking!

Q: How are reciprocals like gymnasts?

A: They flip!

Q: Who is Burt’s Bees wax’s roommate?

A: Ernie’s bees wax!

Q: What sport do people who listen to loud, deep music from their stereo play?

A: BASS Ball!

Q: Which island of the coast of Africa does Dale Ernhart Jr. like?

A: MadaNASCAR!

Q: What happened to the gun at work?

A: He got FIRED!

Q: What happened to the pottery at work?

A: He got fired!

Q: Why was the light bulb cold?

A: He was in the shade!

Q: What part of your body says one thing but does another?

A: A HIP-ocrit!

Q: Why do Grizzlies break their pencils?

A: They BEAR down too heard!

Q: What salad topping do you find at ACE hardware?

A: Wrench Dressing!

Q: What  happened when the master detective closed the door behind him?

A: He Sherlocked himself out!

Q: Why was the pig red?

A: He was out all day BACON in the sun!

Q: Which relative chimes at you every hour?

A: A Grandfather Clock!

Q: Why was the painter hot?

A: He put on an extra coat!

Q: What kind of hug straitens your teeth?

A: EmBRACES!

Q: What food preservation container is lost?

A: A TuperWHERE!

Q: What type of pirate testifies in court?

A: An “Aye” “Aye” Witness!

Q: Which two months are dishonest?

A: FIBruary and JuLIE

Q: Which four months are cold?

A: Septmebrrrrrrrr, Octobrrrrrrrr, Novembrrrrrrr, and Decemberrrrrrrrr!

Q: Which coloring utensil makes you tired?

A: A craYAWN!

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