Hi Ladies!
Although some of the information is a bit irrelevant, (for example, we will never ask a counselor to advise a parent to take their child to a psychologist) the video introduced some wonderful concepts.

What did you think?

I really appreciated this video, because dealing with the aftermath of teasing or bullying is something I do on an almost daily basis at school! Sometimes kids just say mean or innappropriate things to each other, and even if it can still be hurtful. Most of the recommendations were great, and I especially liked the examples where counselors reminded campers of expectations. Just saying “that’s not how we treat each other” is enough to remind campers they can’t get away with acting a certain way, and it reinforces that the expectations are there for a reason!

I loved the part where it explains that its not always possible to determine the “real” bully in a situation. The video gives examples where the person who seems to be the bully was actually the victim, and both people were to blame. Its easy to jump on a kid when you see them do something wrong, or say something wrong without investigating the cause first. After watching the video, I realized how important it is to do that!

I have a feeling we won’t have severe behavioral problems where we need to call a parent (Rockbrook feels like SUCH a warm and happy place!) but its good to know that options is available for us. I agree with Chrissy that some of the scenarios were cheesy, like the lake front example…and honestly I’m not sure a bully would respond so maturely to a counselor’s suggestions. If someone is acting that way I think they’re more likely to be huffy about it, say they’re sorry and not mean it, or fight back a little. In that case, I would take that camper aside away from everyone else and explain expectations and alternatives again. And of course, keep in mind that bullys want to make friends and connections! That way I don’t resort to anger, and focus on being a kind and receptive role model.

I thought that this video helped connect the pieces of the last video. In this one, i liked how they used a lot of examples to clearly define all the situations that we, as young leaders, will probably face here (hopefully not) and in the future. i liked how they went back and revealed who the real bully was, because everything is not what we seem. There might be a different story to it. I agree with Greer that bullies are just like us: they want to fit in. I think that by encouraging good behavior, their bullying will slowly diminish. The part about the bystanders and upstanders applies to everyday life. So often, we witness bullying and sometimes we don’t manage to say something. Here, we have a voice to say so because we are defending what behavior is right and what is wrong. I thought this video was enlightening.

With two younger brothers, I understand how challenging it is to try and get to the bottom of an incident if you don’t see the whole thing, and even then it is very difficult. I like that the emphasis is on working with both parties, not just one or the other. I feel like that could help prevent any revenge bullying and break the cycle. I also liked the suggestion of using skits to help outline better interactions. I know it is pretty cheesy, but it can be a great way to start a conversation about behavioral expectations.

I thought the video had some good ideas about how to handle bullying, as well as some tips that I would change a bit. I appreciate the idea about talking about bullying one of the first days to set a standard, then if you witness bullying, you can reference the talk you had with the campers. I don’t think that this would be as effective if used like in the video when the counselor told the girls they should include the girl in the next round. This could be embarrassing for the girl that is left out and have the group resenting her. If possible, I would go with the girl and ask if we could both play, allowing my presence to be there and possibly mentioning that the girl that was left out is particularly good at a certain skill required of the game. I thought the video made a great point about not always understanding the entire bullying situation, as shown in the tennis section. I think drawing attention to the fact that gossiping, leaving other girls out, etc can be bullying will help girls realize that bullying is much more than pushing others around physically.

I agree that giving lots of options for dealing with bullying was a major strength of this video. I think praise is really important, and although it was definitely cheesy, I liked the examples of redirection of behavior – like the scene at the lake.
I also liked the emphasis on referring to rules stated earlier. I think accountability is really important. I think it is vital to say what I mean and do what I say. If I explain why we don’t bully, I want to follow up. I want my campers to see that I’m serious about how we treat others.
I think the point Ashley made about possibly embarassing the camper by “requiring” that she be allowed to play in the next round was important. I’ve had a lot of issues dealing with that in the afterschool program I work in. Its difficult because I, and my coworkers, know that one girl is being excluded, she knows it, the other girls know it too, but even with parent talks and talks with the girls they don’t stop and its really hard to see. I’m hoping we don’t have many issues with this, but if anyone has ideas for how to help a girl “save face” but still work toward inclusion, I’d LOVE to hear them!

I thought this video was very helpful. I like that they encourage talking to both participants in a bullying situation and reminding the kids about the rules set during orientation. Having worked with kids many times before, I have seen that often times, once kids realize an adult is aware, they feel badly about how they acted and will change their behavior.
I also liked that it reminded us that bullies are targets too, and we don’t always see the whole situation. It is definitely important to discuss the correct behaviors with both parties. I also like that they use positive reinforcement. Many kids will perpetuate negative behavior if they feel that is the only time they are given attention by their counselors.

One thing I’m definitely going to keep in mind is not taking any conflict at face value, since I won’t have seen the whole thing. It’s important not to take sides because we don’t know the full story, and the tennis court scene was a good reminder of that. I’m also glad that they included the card-playing scene, because this subtle sort of exclusion and hurt-feelings bullying is what I feel like we see more with girls than outright insults or shoving. In a way, it can also be harder to intervene in. But I think that bith the video’s suggestions and your suggestions are all good ideas. I like Ashley’s idea of asking if both you and the girl could play.