Raising Happiness

Christine Carter, author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents, recently spoke at a summer camp conference about cultivating an environment of happiness at camp. Camp plays a key role in teaching girls how to live a happy, fulfilled life. During her presentation, Carter illustrated three main ways camp grants girls the skills to embrace a life of happiness.

1. Camp celebrates the role that failure plays in success.
If a camper doesn’t quite make it to the top of our climbing tower or has trouble folding like a pretzel in yoga class (who doesn’t?) she learns that it’s ok. In fact, it’s better than ok- it’s great! Because camp operates under the mindset that girls grow and learn from mistakes and risk-taking, these so-called “failures” are praised at camp. They are marked as part of the learning process for our campers. So rather than a fixed mindset such as, “I can’t climb” or “I’m bad a Yoga”, our campers think “I’m so glad I didn’t give up!” while the look down at camp after making it all the way to the top.

2. Camp creates a culture of gratitude.
Gratitude is a social emotion, acknowledging something that is outside of oneself. Often times we focus so much on the cloudy skies that we never even notice that the sun is trying to peek out. For example, before camp, it’s easy to think something like, “Wow, my trunk is so heavy! What an annoyance!” Then suddenly, at camp, it’s “I am so glad I have a trunk, this is a great place to store things!” In an instant, a girl sees the value of the things in her life, and, more importantly, the people in her life. Camps helps girls realize, understand, and reflect on all the things they have to be thankful for.

3. Camp models kindness.
Camp broadens a girl’s “giving vocabulary.” Not only do girls reflect on what others did for them throughout the day, but they consider what they did for someone else. Girls leave camp with an understanding that kindness does not have to be a grand, over-the-top event every time it occurs. There are lots of little things we can do for one another every hour of every day.

So give three cheers, a thumbs up, and a high five for camp because it’s a great place to be!

How to define “Camp”

Defining “camp” or a “summer youth camp” is more difficult than it might first appear.  We all tend to speak about camps, and understand summer camps as somehow special.  We believe they can be defined, shown to be unique and different than other youth development organizations or experiences.  The difficulty of defining ”camp” starts to become clear, however, when faced with a definition that is too wide, vague or ambiguous.  For example, saying “a youth camp is a place to have fun” seems inadequate.  After all, it’s easy to think of very “non-camp-like” examples that would fall under this vague definition.  Is going to a movie, or playing video games in an arcade, or riding a bicycle (all ways to have “fun”) a “youth camp?” Certainly not.  Conversely, defining “summer camp” is difficult because a definition could be inadequate by being too limited or restrictive.  Would we all agree that a youth camp is “a day program to teach teenage dyslexic boys how to play chess?”  Certainly not because we can think of many examples of camps that don’t match up with this narrow definition.

The challenge is to establish a definition that’s not too wide, thereby allowing anything to be included in our understanding of “camp,” and not too narrow so as to exclude clear examples of a summer camp.

So, how do we do it? What would be an adequate definition of summer camp? It’s important to realize, first of all, that by asking for “an adequate” definition, I am suggesting that there is more than one definition we might write, each of which being more or less suited to any particular context, or need for a definition. Put differently, there really isn’t one correct definition of camp. There are many. An adequate definition of camp is a matter of deciding on the right level of specificity for our purposes, and since these can vary, so can our definition. If we wish to distinguish “youth camps” from schools, we might write a very different definition than if we want to claim camps are distinct from amusement parks.

With that caveat, here are two methods of defining summer camp that are broadly adequate.

1. A summer camp is a youth development organization, supervised by professional adults, that strives to foster personal growth for children by providing them fun, safe educational/recreational programs, outdoor experiences and group activities while away from home during the summer months.

2. A summer camp is a youth development organization that may: a) serve a single gender or be coed, b) serve a narrow range of ages or a wide range, c) serve clients with special needs or the general population, d) provide a specific narrow group of activities or a broad general program, e) be residential or operate only for limited hours during the day, f) include religious training/guidance or be non-religious, g) operate in a single location or focus on trips/travel, h) be a for-profit business or non-profit, i) be private and independently owned or overseen by an agency.

The first definition relies on what summer camps do, on their unique functions as youth development organizations, while the second definition focuses more on the range of substantive attributes camps express as organizations.  Again, both definitions are merely adequate because they could easily be made more exclusive by adding functions or attributes, as the case may be, or more inclusive by removing criteria from each.

For now, we can recognize the context-dependent nature of these definitions, and still celebrate the unique goals and accomplishments of summer camps, the benefits they provide children, and the organizational character they have sustained for 150 years.

To Raise a Humane Child

Our friend Tom Rosenberg at Blue Star Camps recently turned us on to Zoe Weil, the author of several books on “Humane Education” and the president of the Institute for Humane Education. He quite rightly claimed that the experience of camp is a powerful and effective way to bolster this kind of education for children. But what makes education “humane?”

Looking at the Institute’s Web site, you find “Humane Education” instills:

the desire and capacity to live with compassion, integrity, and wisdom, but also provides the knowledge and tools to put our values into action in meaningful, far-reaching ways.

Humane education aims to inspire children to be curious, creative and thoughtful in their approach to the world, and thereby fosters a kind of warmth and sensitivity whereby they can be better problem solvers, help others, and lead more meaningful lives. The Institute has developed a body of lesson plans, books, videos and articles to help educators incorporate these goals and principles.

Much of this revolves around the notion of community and that’s why camp is so well suited to encourage humane education. Coming to Rockbrook means joining a close-knit community where campers and counselors alike agree to cooperate and respect each other. We live together in cabins, share chores, resolve disagreements, and experience firsthand the importance of honest communication. It’s the power of community that heightens our awareness and inspires humane values while at camp.

Most children experience far too little humane education and as a result fail to respond to many of the issues and challenges of our day. Camp can be one way to help raise a humane child. It can be a real lesson in community, in compassion, and in respect. We already knew camp was a special experience; now we know another reason why.

Zoe Weil doesn’t mention camp, but you can get a great sense of what she’s doing from this TED talk.

Youth Development Advice

Have you run into this yet? Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children, by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman (2009) is a best-selling book that has been well-covered in the news, and has inspired quite a following among youth development professionals.

The book examines a number of popular strategies for raising children— techniques most parents see as “common sense” —and suggests that modern scientific research can explain why too often what we hope to accomplish backfires. It’s a little bit shocking, but the book argues our American child-rearing habits are flawed, and in fact, are probably hurting our kids.

Over ten chapters, the authors explore sibling rivalry, children telling lies, the problem with excessive praise, teen rebellion, language acquisition, and more (school testing, self-control, etc.). Each chapter challenges the assumptions of conventional wisdom, but also leaves the reader understanding these issues in ways that can lead to more effective parenting. Even if it’s as simple as making sure our kids get more sleep, there are concrete lessons to be learned here.

The authors have written several columns for Newsweek and are currently on a tour to discuss the book. Learn more on their web site. Also, here is a video of the authors introducing the book.

Children and Nature

We’ve talked about Richard Louv before, here, here and here, but I just found this video of him discussing the importance of nature for children.  It’s a short introduction to Louv’s notion of “Nature Deficit Disorder.”  Check it out!

In Praise of Neoteny

Today the word of the day is neoteny. It’s really a term from evolutionary biology, but it describes the retention of childlike attributes in adults. You might think of a grown up who has a “baby face,” or is generally “cute.” When you are talking about these kinds of physical features, we tend to think it’s a good thing to have “young looking skin” or the “energy of youth,” for example. Neotenic people are usually attractive. Being neotenous is mostly a good thing.

But what about personality traits, attitudes or approaches to the world? What about these ways of being childlike? Think about what life is like as a child. The world is magical, full of curiosities, almost always kind and wondrous. As kids, we spend so much time being creative and playing. We feel so many more things— joy, excitement, anticipation, and the broad sensuous world around us. All of this probably makes it so easy to make friends (“Come on! Let’s play!).

You’ve also noticed what usually happens when we grow up. We get serious, we latch on to patterns of behavior, we get scared, we feel the need to protect what we believe, we accept responsibilities and feel pressure to perform and “be” someone in particular. As adults, we spend almost all of our time, mostly alone, working to stay organized and fighting opposing forces. We’re all too consumed by those adult things we’ve grown to accept as important, and it ain’t easy.

It’s no surprise to see that being an adult trumps those childlike traits. Sadly, to grow up often means losing touch of what we used to be, those aspects of being human we loved as kids. As adults, we have a harder time feeling what makes the world wonderful, a harder time making friends, and a much harder time playing and having fun. Of course there are exceptions to this, but that’s the point. They are exceptions, and that’s too bad.

Let’s remember the value of being childlike even as adults. Let’s be joyful as we’re responsible. Let’s be creative when encountering opposing beliefs. Let’s be friendly and playful, cooperative and excited about learning new things. Let’s strive to foster our innate neotenous instincts. Certainly, all good things.

Bringing this back to camp… Summer camp is a place where kids can really be kids. It’s a special time when they are encouraged to play, make friends, be creative and explore the world around them. Separate from the forces of home and school (which are fundamentally about forming “adults”), camp provides a wonderful opportunity to strengthen our “kid selves.” Camp is joyful break from all that training, and that’s a big part of why it’s so fun.

Maybe we could say, camp helps you learn how to be a really great kid so that later in life you’ll be a really great (happy, content, remarkable) adult. Camp’s power to strengthen these “kid traits,” I suspect, will be a big part of that success.

Being a Camp Leader

One important mark of leadership for the staff at Rockbrook is their ability to model personal character for the girls at camp. We strive to hire cabin counselors and activity staff members who exemplify good character and thereby can serve as role models for the campers. It means a lot to children to see others they admire make good decisions. It’s just a crucial part of building character— having positive relationships with others who embody exemplary habits and attitudes. When we talk about “leadership” at camp, this is what we mean: being that sort of exemplary person.

But what is exemplary character, how do you recognize it, and how do you encourage its development? We’ve found the approach taken by the Josephson Institute to be extremely articulate and practical. It’s “Six Pillars of Character” is a well thought out resource. Essentially, the “pillars” are fundamental principles and values that serve as a core for ethical decision making. They are: Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring and Citizenship.  Without appealing to religion, politics or ideology, we strive to realize these six values in our camp community.

There’s a lot of good stuff in all of this, so go learn more.

Nature at Camp

As a parent, have you ever felt you were driving around in circles, literally driving your kids from home to school, to sports or dance practice, to other lessons or weekly events? Would you say that your kids are scheduled and busy most of the time? Do they spend most of their time inside, and when they do have free time, how do they spend it? Watching TV, on the Internet, text messaging?

All of this is valuable, of course, with each activity exposing children to new ideas, information and challenges, but there’s a growing awareness that if overemphasized it can create problems as well. It’s becoming clear that children need time with nature too. They need the opportunity to explore the outdoors, to play outside without the time constraints of school, to feel the elements and reconnect with the wonders of the natural world.

The Children and Nature Network is an non-profit organization dedicated to researching this issue and providing resources for encouraging children’s health through outdoor activity and experience.  It’s a great place to learn about the importance for children of direct experience of nature.

Summer camps, thankfully, are still ways for children to recover from the “nature deficit” they endure throughout the school year.  Nature and camp just go together. Particularly at an overnight camp like Rockbrook, nature is a constant companion— the earthy smell, the feel of the weather, the surprising creatures, the plant life that’s everywhere you look.  Sure camp offers crafts, adventure, sports and lots of silly fun, but every minute is also a chance to be with nature.  It’s the greatest feeling, and is also, incredibly good for you.